


The Strength To Rise

by JohnMyBeloved



Series: The Stars Above [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, Post Rogue One, Sometimes Angsty, gays in space, protective cassian, sniperpilot, sometimes tooth rotting fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-10-29 02:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 35,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10844391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnMyBeloved/pseuds/JohnMyBeloved
Summary: " if you were born with the weakness to fall, you were born with the strength to rise "//The Rogue One crew survived their mission, but Scarif followed them back to the base.It suffocates their dreams and burns behind their eyes. It poisons their lungs and courses through their blood.Bodhi Rook awakens screaming every morning.And every morning, Cassian Andor hears his cries.And one night, he plucks up the courage to go to Bodhi.





	1. Prologue

The heat was blistering.

The ground trembled and the whole planet seemed to vibrate vigorously which sent trees and other plant life sprawling. 

The lasers being fired from the stormtrooper's blasters still came at them, shooting burning hot holes in the landscape and the rebels. 

Screams of fear and agony were the orchestral accompaniment of the battle.

Bodhi hid inside Rogue One, desperately trying to wire it correctly so that they could beam up the Death Star plans to the waiting Rebel ships and make the mission worth it.

His hands shook with terror and he could feel the burning which lit up this hip like a wild fire. He didn't have time to stem the flow of blood with bloomed like a deathly rose upon his uniform. 

His grit his teeth as he heard the coming troopers and felt the beating heat coming ever closer to him, the source of the blistering heat was unknown yet a small part of him told him that with every metre it gained, his death grew closer. 

He held his breath and tried again to steady his hands and complete his job. He was so close but every time he went to connect the wires, the ground would shake and he'd have to start all over again.

He fought hard to ignore the screaming and the images that flashed with it. 

He could picture Chirrut grasping out into the dark for Baze as lasers shot though his body.  
He could picture Baze crawling through the blistering sand to try and reach the outstretched hand of his partner.  
He could picture K-2SO stumbling around with half of his wiring torn out.   
He could picture Jyn clutching her kyber crystal necklace as the world around her shattered like a broken egg.  
He could picture Cassian screaming for his crew, yelling in anguish into the void and clutching wounds which littered his proud body.

Bodhi bid the tears from his eyes and tried again to correctly wire the transmitter. But he knew that he wouldn't make it and that the whole mission would've been for nothing; all because he couldn't wire the damn machine.

He caused his friends to die.  
He killed the one person who could give him the future of freedom that he had always prayed for.  
It was all his fault.

And as the blistering ray of the Death Star reached his exhausted body-

 

He woke up.


	2. Tears And Fears

Bodhi woke up like usual: in a heavy sweat with tears rolling down his eyes while screaming.

It took a moment to remember where he was.

"My name is Bodhi Rook. I am twenty-five. I was born in Jedha. I'm a pilot for the Rebellion. I survived Scarif. I'm now in Yavin. I didn't die. It's not my- my fault," he mumbled the words like a sacred prayer, one given to him by his appointed psychiatrist.

He always found the last sentence the hardest to say.

To him, it was his fault that K-2SO had died. It was his fault that Chirrut had been killed. If only he had been quicker, maybe then Chirrut wouldn't have sacrificed himself to bide the pilot more time to complete his task.

Even though the others said that it wasn't his fault. He _knew_ that it was.

Bodhi felt as though his bones had turned to lead weights and that a stone pillar sat upon his chest; slowly crushing his lungs.

He threw himself into a sitting position and ran his hands through his hair. His heart thudded against his rib cages like he had just run a marathon. He gritted his teeth to contain his sobs yet his body continued to quake.

"My name is Bodhi Rook. I-" His throat closed up and another wave of anxiety washed over his trembling body. He tried to carry one but his tongue continued to get stuck. "I am twenty-five. I-"

His cheeks were red and the fat, salty tears continued to burn and stream from his eyes. His lips were dry and chapped with small bloody cuts from where the skin of his lips had split. The cuts stung but part of him was happy that it did, the surviving members of Rogue One had been making sure that he hadn't done anything that might hurt him since they had returned, so he savoured the small pain as part of his just punishment.

He was sweltering under the stifling bed covers but the air around him seemed to freeze the sweat on his forehead.

He rose from his bed and placed his bare feet upon the cold flooring of his room. Bodhi found that the chill seemed to neutralise the burning fire across his body. His skin erupted in goosebumps and his body hair stood rigidly to attention.

Across his room was his unworn, official rebellion uniform. It was very much like his old imperial uniform: a blue, industrial jumpsuit; large, black boots; his repaired goggles and a black flight jacket which slightly resembled Cassian's.

He couldn't stomach to look at the uniform; it reminded him of his weakness.

After the crew were rescued from Scarif and had been allowed some time to recuperate and rest; they had all been sent back out on missions.

Baze had been sent to assassinated multiple Imperial leaders; Jyn had been on many intel gathering missions and Cassian had flew out on multiple occasions to sabotage and destroy important strong holds of the enemy.

For him however: it had been decided by the team and the base's leaders that he was in no shape of mind to take part in any mission which wasn't in close proximity to the Yavin IV base. His physiatrist, Dr Solen, instead set him tasks which he was required to complete during the day.

The missions were mostly easy to complete, borderline useless. Over the past months he had performed standard maintenance procedures on machines what weren't even in need of it. He found himself suspecting that Dr. Solen had been purposefully tampering with the machinery just to give him something to fix.

He hated being so powerless. He ran his fingers over the cold, grey walls of his bunk as he tiptoed across to the metal door. He wished that he was wearing more than the baggy, grey sweatpants and thin, sweat soaked tank top; but he was too exhausted to care enough to change.

He made sure to be as silent as possible as he left his room and slowly made his way to the exit which lead to a small balcony overlooking the smallest hangar on the base.

He felt so small under the stars, yet so at peace. Everything made sense while he watched the sky. Under the stars he didn't have to worry about the lurking nightmares or the agonising flashbacks. The constellations didn't make him feel ashamed or embarrassed about his panic attacks and inability to even look at a blaster without feeling the urge to throw up. The planets never once blamed him for the deaths of Chirrut and K-2SO, but they never showed pity for him either.

_-It wasn't your fault, Bodhi_.

_-You did all you could._

_-It was Chirrut's decision to do what he did._

_-You couldn't've stopped him._

He shook his head and stepped closer to the edge; if it wasn't for the waist-high fencing around the edge, he would have had half a mind to just step off and fall to the beyond.

He rested his forearms on the cool metal and placed his burning forehead upon the iron. Below; the soft, orange lights lit up the hangar and revealed Rogue Two- the rebellion's attempt to recreate the iconic starship and honour those who died on Scarif.

It also happened to the ship which was commonly piloted by Cassian Andor.

When Cassian left to go on missions, Bodhi made sure to listen out for any gossip that surrounded the rebel. He had an unofficial agreement with Dr Solen: if he completed his goals to a certain standard, Solen would provide him with small scraps of information that she had heard.

_-When will he be back_?

- _Not today, Bodhi._

Some days when he sat on the balcony, he'd see the rebel arrive back at the base. He'd watch as the other crew members ran into the arms of their families, but Cassian would just pat their shoulders before parting ways with the crew. He wished that he were able to wait for him in the hangar but he couldn't find it within himself to go down there. He was sure that if Jyn and Baze weren't so busy, that they'd wait for him.

But for now, the balcony would be as close as he got to Cassian.

And the stars would be his only witness to his longing looks.

 

»«

 

"I heard Bodhi again last night," Cassian sighed to Jyn. He sat in a chair while she sat cross legged on her bed, writing a report on her most recent mission to Naboo.

Her head lifted up and her eyes became pools of regret and empathy. "How was he?"

Cassian rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and sighed again.

"I don't think he's getting better. I've spoken to Dr. Solen and she said that he's making an improvement, but Jyn, you haven't heard him at night- she hasn't heard him.

"He sobs and screams in fear while asleep. And when he wakes up, it continues. He always calls out for Chirrut, to tell him to stop and protect himself. He shouts out for you and Baze and Kay- and me."

He ran his hand though his hair to try and push it away from his eyes.

"I've been so wrapped up in missions that I haven't had much time to speak to him at all," Jyn replied softly, her words were heavy with guilt. "He needs us Cassian; you, me and Baze. He's too proud and ashamed to come to us. He's a different person now."

Cassian shook his head slowly in protest, "No Jyn, he's still the same person inside. Scarif changed us all but we forget that Bodhi had never been exposed to such violence before then- he wasn't ready. One day, he'll come back to us, Jyn. Maybe he won't be the old Bodhi, but he'll be our Bodhi."

The woman agreed. A comfortable silence fell over the bunk room.

Cassian thought back to the previous week when he had returned from an espionage mission in Corusant.

- _Who's that guy there, Captain Andor?_

_Cassian turned his head and looked where his crew mate gestured with her head. He could recognise those large dark eyes and long hair from anywhere. He could be on the other side of the galaxy, with his memory wiped, and he'd still be able recognise Bodhi Rook._

_Cassian shrugged. -I don't know. Let's just get inside, I'm cold._

_-Aye, Captain._

_When Cassian looked up again at the balcony, the small man had left; leaving Cassian with only the stars to watch over him._

"I have some time off before my next mission is planned. I'll spend some more time with him," the Fest-born rebel mumbled more to himself than Jyn.

The brunette woman nodded. "I miss him," she confessed.

Cassian tried to ignore the growing lump in his throat.

"I do too."


	3. Midnight Meetings

 

_-my son_...

_-yes mama?_   
_Bodhi whispered. He gently held his mother's cheek in his palm._

_-I'll be okay. It'll all be okay.  
Her breathing was uneasy and Bodhi could hear the blood coating her throat. She coughed and a small dribble of red ran from the corner of her mouth._

_-mama, please don't leave me.  
He begged. His other hand was painted a bright crimson. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't steam the bleeding that ran from her stomach._

_His mother smiled softly and pressed her paling forehead to her son's. A small girl lay in her arms, her grey dress also stained with oozing blood._

_A few feet away, at the door to their modest hut, lay a white haired humanoid with a fresh blaster shot to the heart._

_-Bodhi, listen to me. Listen._  
The greying woman spoke airily as her life slowly slipped away.  
-join the imperial forces. Stay out of trouble, Keep your head down.

_She coughed and more blood came up from her weakening lungs.  
-Live for us, Bodhi._

_Her dark eyes fluttered and began to shut. Bodhi's heart sped up and his ears pounded loudly. He shook his mother and his young sister lightly however, as the panic set in deeper, he shook harder._

_-mama! Wake up, don't leave me! Abhaya, mama, please don't go. Mama! Abhaya!  
Bodhi's frame shook with heavy sobs. He panted deeply and pulled his arms away from his family. Tears poured from his eyes and dampened his cheeks and collar._

_His hands pulled at his hair and he screamed as loud as he could; letting out all the pain and the anger and the sadness and the guilt._

_-Mama! Wake up! Abhaya! Mama! Mama-!_

  
He was snapped awake by a creaking at his door. No matter how deep he was in his dream, the slightest thing could startle him awake.

He felt a wave of nausea wash over him. He could still smell the coppery blood on his hands and in the air around him. He could hear the screams of his mother and sister still echoing in his ears. And the blasts.

The door creaked a little more until a small sliver of light partially illuminated the dark room. Bodhi stared at the door in fright. The worst scenarios that his mind could conjure began to play over and over in his head.

He opened his mouth to call out but all he managed was a few unintelligible whispers.

The door opened again, a little wider every few seconds until the sliver of light drowned the furthest wall from his bed in a soft orange glow.

From the light, the silhouette of a person stood watching him. Their arm raised up to their face and rubbed their eyes slowly.

The figure moved gingerly further into the room and Bodhi reached into his bedside table and grabbed a small, dulled dagger. He knew that the silver blade wouldn't help in case of an attack yet he felt a little bit better with it in his hand. Dr Solen would be disappointed if she knew.

_-attachment to an inanimate object is unhealthy, Bodhi. No matter what relief it brings in the short term, it will only negatively effect you in the long term._

The figure walked further into the room until they stood where Bodhi could properly see their face.

"Bodhi, I heard you screaming. Are you okay?" The genuine worry in his voice shocked the dark skinned pilot. He stared at Cassian with wide eyes.

The rebel couldn't help but notice the ragged appearance of the young man. Cassian knew that Bodhi was only a year younger than he was, however in this moment, he seemed so much younger.

His dark, wide eyes were drowned in fear and anxiety. Sweat poured from his skin and a small trail of snot ran from his nose. His cheeks were bright red and puffy from crying and his hair stood at odd ends.

The thin man clutched what seemed to be a silver dagger yet Cassian believed that it wasn't sharp. In the aftermath of Scarif and Bodhi's obvious declining  mental health, all objects that may be used to cause harm himself or others were taken away or dulled. The dagger would've been checked.

"Cass- Cassian?" The man's voice was weak and strained yet a small attempt of a smile graced his lips.

Cassian smiled softly back at him. "Yes, it's me, Bodhi." He held his hands outstretched from his body and walked closer towards the man slowly, treating Bodhi the way one may treat a startled deer.

Cassian carefully sat on the edge of Bodhi's bed and placed his hand on the man's leg. He could feel Bodhi tense up under his touch before relaxing slightly.

He turned his attention to the dagger and threw a playful smirk, "were you planning on stabbing me with that, Mr Rook?"

Bodhi chuckled a little, the first time he had done so in months. A small warm feeling settled in Cassian's chest at the noise.

Bodhi shook his head softly, "no of course not. This old thing probably wouldn't be able to cut through cream. The medical staff dulled it."

He tilted the blade so the small amount of light in the room danced upon it. Cassian tilted his head and placed out a hand. "May I hold it?"

Bodhi looked unsure and a quick look of panic flickered across his eyes but he nodded and handed the dagger over.

Cassian couldn't help but marvel at the dagger's design. The silver blade was well maintained other than the unsharpened edge. The handle which it was attached to seemed to be carved from a type of wood. Cassian guessed either Redwood or mahogany. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the dagger had been engraved with peculiar symbols. He looked to Bodhi for answers. The man seemed to understand what he was silently asking.

"That dagger has been passed down the generations of the Rook family. It was my- my mother's and would've been my s- sister's but I was left with it. The tunes are an ancient script and are supposed to bring good luck to the wielder."

Cassian nodded and passed the dagger back to Bodhi. "It's beautiful, Bodhi. Truly beautiful."

Bodhi nodded and his eyes shone a little bit brighter.

It hit Cassian how lonely the man must have been, trapped in a cycle of nightmares and a meaningless routine. Guilt consumed him but he tried not to let it show. However he'd forgotten how easily Bodhi could read people.

"You don't need to feel guilty for not spending time with me. You're a very important person and you've had important things to do. Also, I'm not a child."

Cassian shook his head. "I should've visited you more. You're my friend, Bodhi, and I've really missed you," he said sincerely.

Bodhi nodded.

"Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Cassian asked softly.

Bodhi looked uneasy. "I don't know. I'm scared that if I speak about it, it'll hurt me even more."

"I understand you, I get them too. Mostly about Scarif but some are about other missions. Ones that went wrong or ones where I lost someone. Trust me, Bodhi, it's better to talk about them. What did your therapist say to me once? 'A problem shared is a problem halved'," Cassian spoke truthfully.

Bodhi seemed surprised but considered what he said.

"It was about my mother and sister, back in Jedha. When I was-," he paused for a moment, "when I was a teen, a thing came to our hut. All I remember is that he was shouting at my mother for something. I was in the bedroom with my little sister, I tried so hard to keep her quiet but Abhaya was so quick and fearless. When she ran out, the stranger shot her with his blaster. Then he shot my mother when she started screaming.

"He was leaving the hut when I ran out and grabbed the blaster that he dropped. And- and- and I shot him. In the head."

He started sobbing again and allowed Cassian to wrap his arms around his small body.

"I couldn't save my family, Cassian. I just watched my family die!" He clung to Cassian's cream coloured, cotton shirt. It seemed neither he nor Cassian cared that much about the growing wet patch on his shoulder.

Cassian pulled him closer to his chest and rubbed his back. He allowed Bodhi to completely let himself go in his arms.

He missed everything about the man, more than he knew he did. It was only now that he realised how much he missed the pilot's familiar scent of machinery, oil and wood. He missed the way Bodhi's body perfectly matched with his and the way he could wrap his arms around Bodhi's torso and feel his chest against his own.

"It's not your fault, Bodhi. It was never your fault." The two of them new that he wasn't specifically talking about his family.

"I'm so sorry, Bodhi. You've always deserved so much better," Cassian whispered into Bodhi's thick hair.

Bodhi mumbled something into Cassian's shirt, something he couldn't make out but he concentrated on the vibrations coming from his chest.

The pair embraced in silence for a little longer. Bodhi's grip seemed to loosen a little as his eyes grew heavier with fatigue. Cassian noticed this.

Without alarming the tired pilot, the rebel slowly rotated his body and leant the sleepy body against his bed. He hesitantly loosened his grip on Bodhi and slowly pulled away from him.

The pilot's eyes shot open and he placed his shaky hand on Cassian's shoulder. "Please," he whispered, "please don't go."

The man's desperately words pulled on Cassian's heart and he nodded. "Let me just shut the door, okay?" He slipped out from the bed and closed the half open door before returning to Bodhi.

He noticed the other man's body relax as he slipped off his shoes and shirt, to reveal a standard white tank top.

He climbed in the rather narrow bed beside his ex-crew mate and pulled the thin duvet over the top of them.

He felt Bodhi's thin arms wrap around his waist and his heavy heart beat. Cassian sighed and pulled the younger man closer into his chest.

A part of him knew that this wasn't what friends did. He couldn't ever imagine climbing into bed and holding Baze nor Jyn. But Bodhi was different. He couldn't describe how he felt about Bodhi or why he felt so protective over him. But he didn't care. All he knew was that Bodhi needed him and that's all that mattered.

"Cass, how did you hear me? I thought that your bunk was on the other side of the base, near the Damerons?" Bodhi muttered. Cassian stroked his hair softly and answered.

"I asked one of the generals if I could move closer to you, I wanted to make sure that you were okay. My room is next door."

He saw Bodhi's cheeks softly blush and stifled a chuckle.

"Thank you, Cassian. I don't deserve a friend like you."

Cassian shushed him. "Don't talk like that, just sleep."

"Will you be here in the morning?" Bodhi tried not to cringe at the way his words betrayed his loneliness and desperation for company.

Cassian ran a finger along his cheek and jaw- an action that sent his pulse rate soaring.

"Of course, Bodhi. I'll always be here for you."


	4. Friends Reunite

 

When Bodhi woke up, he noticed that Cassian was still there with his arms around his waist. The two men were pressed chest to chest, with their arms and legs perfectly intertwined, and Cassian's head balanced on top of Bodhi's.

The pilot flicked his eyes up to the spy and accidentally let out a loud cough, startling Cassian awake.

The tired rebel just smiled kindly at Bodhi. It was the type of smile that sent chills soaring across younger man's skin while also warming his heart in a way that he'd never felt before.

"I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to wake you with my stupid nightmare and you didn't have to stay with me. But thank you, Cassian." Bodhi unwrapped his arms from around Cassian's chest and went to sit upwards, however the slightly older man's grip brought him back down into a laying position, eye to eye with the spy.

Cassian took one hand off Bodhi's body before placing his index finger on Bodhi's chapped lips in an attempt to quieten his apologetic ramblings. He spoke in a hushed, husky tone, "like I said last night: you never need to be sorry, Bodhi. I'm happy that I'm here with you, even if I've lost feeling in half of my body because of this tiny bed."

Bodhi joined in with the rebel's chuckling. His lips curled in a half smile, a sight which caused Cassian to mirror him.

"What time is it?" Cassian asked.

Bodhi shrugged but pulled himself up so he could see over Cassian's long body and look at the red numbered, digital clock which stood on his bedside table.

**07 : 06**

"Six past seven," Bodhi lay back down next to Cassian and allowed the smiling man to run his hands through his own long hair.

"I have to leave soon to meet Baze and Jyn for breakfast and I'd really like it if you came with me," Cassian spoke softly.

It slightly shocked Bodhi that his old crew would want to spend time with him. "Erm- I'd like t-to do that," he stuttered anxiously but he immediately relaxed when Cassian beamed brightly and embraced him.

"We've all missed you Bodhi," he said kindly. The pilot blushed a little under the rebel's gaze.

The room fell silent in a natural and non-awkward way. The only noise was the breathing of the two men, before Cassian got up from the bed.

"I have to leave now but I'll be back at your door at seven-thirty sharp, understand pilot?" His voice mocked the way his superiors would often speak to the rebels.

Bodhi raised his hand and saluted Cassian with a stern face. "Sir, yes, sir!" He managed to reply before a smile became etched upon his lips.

Cassian playfully winked, "Good, soldier! I shall see you soon."

And with a quick bow of his head, the tan skinned man left Bodhi's bunk.

The bed felt strangely empty and cold without the other man beside him, yet he could still smell traces of citrus soap and old leather- Cassian's familiar scent.

The pilot felt a feeling of shame as he buried his face in the other pillow, with his soul desperately trying to hold on to anything Cassian related. He guessed that his desperation stemmed from feeling isolated in his mind for so long. He was scared that Cassian wouldn't come back- or even worse; that he had just dreamt up the whole thing.

He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock- **07 : 15** \- which meant that he only had fifteen minutes to make himself look normal for the huge event of eating breakfast with his friends.

His gaze landed on his untouched work uniform, in the months prior all he had worn were similar alterations of the same outfit- grey or brown shirt, a plain grey jacket, black trousers and black shoes.

He swung his legs from the bed and placed his feet on the cold floor. He walked over to the uniform and caressed the starchy material. He undid his hair from its loose ponytail and removed his white tank top and sweatpants. He changed his boxers and accidentally saw himself in the mirror.

His skin seemed like stretched paper across his chest, with his ribs clearly defined. His eyes looked sunken into his face and his high and narrow cheekbones appeared out of place on his small face.

In only his boxers, he walked to the small sink in the corner of his bunk room. The nearest shower cubicles were down the corridor in the communal washroom but at this hour, they would be busy and Bodhi didn't feel up to being stared at in pity.

He ran his hands under the cold water and rinsed his face a few times as well as quickly dampening his hair. He moved away from the sink and dried his face on a nearby towel. He walked back to the uniform and slowly began to put it on.

He slid on a white t-shirt before pulling up the dark blue overalls and buttoning it up. Next, went on the cleanest socks he could find and the heavy boots that all rebels were required to wear. And finally, he pulled the black jacket up his arms and placed his hands in his pockets for a few seconds to adjust the garment.

He grabbed a hair band from a sideboard and pulled his hair back from his face. He was fairly surprised with how long it had grown in the past months. When he had come back from Scarif, it was just below his ears as a large portion had been burnt by an explosion. It now sat comfortably on his shoulders.

He pulled it into a small bun which sat at the nape of his neck. He felt in control. He felt more like himself. It seemed that even one day with Cassian Andor had changed how he saw himself and the world around him.

There were three soft knocks at the door and Bodhi's heart leapt into his throat. He smoothed down his uniform and grabbed a small necklace from his bedside table and put it around his neck, before answering the door with a small smile.

Cassian stood in silence for a moment before mentally shaking himself from his short lived trance. Bodhi looked almost exactly like the way he had before Scarif, even if his weight had considerably dropped and dark rings had painted the skin under his eyes. To Cassian, Bodhi still looked beautiful.

"Good morning, soldier. Care to join me on my way to the mess hall?" Cassian smirked a little as a faint blush dusted the pilot's cheeks and he pulled his sleeves over hands. Bodhi nodded and his smile widened a little.

"Aye, Commander, I'd be honoured."

Bodhi stepped out of his bunk room and closed the door behind him. He flinched a little as Cassian raised his hand but his body slightly relaxed when Cassian brushed a strand of black hair, that had fallen onto his face, behind his ear.

"You look dashing, Mr Rook."

"Honestly, Cassian, I'm wearing a uniform and I look a right state," Bodhi playfully pushed him away and shook his head.

Cassian placed a finger on the younger man's lips, "shush your mush, pilot."

They laughed together and carried on walking down the many corridors towards the mess hall where Jyn and Baze awaited for them.

It had been a while since he had seen the pair of them. He had last seen Jyn while he was in the hospital after his most recent episode. She had visited just before she flew out to Naboo, he couldn't remember too much about it, he had been too hazy with the drugs they had given him.

_-what happened, Bodhi?  
Jyn sighed and placed her hand on Bodhi's arm._

_-I don't know Jyn. I was just so tired and I don't know what happened- everything is a blur._

_-damn it, Bodhi! You swallowed a kriff load of pills and downed a bottle of vodka! How do think Cassian or Baze would've coped if you had died? Answer me, Bodhi._

_-I don't know Jyn. It won't happen again. But every time I close my eyes, all I see is Chirrut dead in the sand. If only I had been quicker._

_-it's not your fault, Bodhi!_  
Her voice softened and Bodhi noticed how tired her eyes were.  
-I was so scared. There are only us four left, we can't loose you. Bodhi, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you.

As the mess hall drew closer, the noise became louder and Bodhi's heart rate increased. His hands began to shake and suddenly he realised how wrong he had been to allow Cassian back into his world and break his routine.

Cassian sensed his unease.

"Bodhi, it's going to be okay. They- we are you friends, let us care for you," Cassian pulled the pilot behind small door and cupped the younger man's face in his rough yet soothing hands.

"I-I can't do this, Cassian. It's too much, too soon. I n-need to go back to my room," Bodhi looked at Cassian with wide, teary eyes. A few managed to escape the corners of his eyes and crinkled down his face.

Cassian wiped the tears with his thumbs and bent his knees slightly to be face level with the shorter man.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I think it'd do you some good to eat breakfast with us, but I won't force you to do anything you're not comfortable with, okay?"

Bodhi nodded but still seemed fearful. He was scared that he'd disappoint Cassian and he'd leave him again. He was scared that Dr Solen would find out and think that he wasn't ready for less therapy sessions. He was scared that he'd embarrass himself in front of the rebels whom already thought that he was a waste of space.

"Bodhi, I know how big this is for you and even you getting this far makes me so proud of you. If it makes you feel better, I'll hold your hand so you always know that I'm right there. I won't leave your side, I promise," Cassian offered.

"You don't have to do that, Cass. People will stare and think-"

"I don't care what they think," Cassian interrupted with a fierce fire behind his eyes, "they can all go and fuck themselves. I care about you, Bodhi, and that's all that matters."

Bodhi looked a little taken a back but he nodded slowly. "Okay."

He allowed Cassian to take his hand in his larger one and smiled shyly at the rebel. Cassian stood up straight and smiled at Bodhi before lacing their fingers together and walking out of the small equipment room.

They walked the rest of the way in silence until they reached the mess hall.

The place was alive with movement and sound. Rebels of all different species and origins were chatting away at tables with their squadrons, their friends, their family.

A young Wookiee rushed past the pair with a well groomed man in tow. "Damn it Chewy! I told you to wake up earlier, but no; you had to have a lie-in!"

The Wookiee roared back.

"Yeah, sure you needed your beauty sleep." The pair walked off and Cassian noticed the smile in Bodhi's face.

"Did you have your beauty sleep, Bodhi?"

"Oh shut up, laser-brain."

Across the mess hall, Bodhi could see Baze and Jyn waiting for them. Two trays were placed opposite them, all ready and waiting for the pair.

"You can do this, Bodhi. I'll be right next to you."

Bodhi gently squeezed Cassian's hand in reply and followed him as he made his way to the table on the far side of the mess hall.

Bodhi tried to ignore the way chatter quietened as he passed and the questioning looks being thrown their way. He remembered Cassian's comforting words.

"Hey, Cassian! Bodhi!" Jyn smiled brightly and waved at the two as they came to the table. Her eyes flickered over their intertwined fingers but the look in Cassian's eye warned her not to say anything. She saw that Baze had also noticed.

"Hi guys," Cassian replied and slid into the free seat opposite Baze. Bodhi sat beside him and greeted the two.

"H-hello Baze, Jyn. It's g-good to see you," he tried his best to smile before turning his attention to the plate of buttered toast in front of him. The sight  made him feel sick but with a quick squeeze of the hand from Cassian, he slowly took a bite of the food.

The melted butter exploded across his tongue and he found himself quickly finishing the first slice off. He looked up to see his three friends engaged in simple chatter and he felt his heart flutter as Cassian squeezed his hand once more.

"So, Bodhi, how have you been?" Jyn smiled at the young pilot.

Bodhi put down his newest piece of toast and replied, "I've b-been okay. Things are much better than they were before. Dr Solen is even considering cutting down my therapy sessions- which I'm v-very happy about. You?"

He felt some of his anxiety bubble away yet he still felt it in the back of his mind.

"I'm happy to hear that, Bodhi! I'm well thank you, I've just returned from Naboo. It's such a beautiful place, I'll have to take you there someday. You'd love it!" Jyn's enthusiasm made Bodhi smile and shake his head to keep himself from laughing.

"Sure, Jyn. I'd love that."

Jyn smiled at him and his attention turned to Baze when he coughed.

"It's good to see you kid, I've actually missed you a lot," Baze's gruff voice made his words more meaningful. The assassin was not known for his compassion towards his fellow beings.

"I've missed you too, Baze," Bodhi replied.

The table fell quiet as they went back to eating.

Jyn suddenly shot her head up and dropped her toast back onto its plate. Her eyes sparkled with excitement and she wouldn't keep the exhilarated look of her face.

"Kes told me some really good news earlier!" She paused for a second.

"What news?" Cassian asked with his eyebrow raised.

"Well he didn't want to get our hopes but apparently he and Shara were just looking through some mission plans on the computing devises when they found a file. They opened it and then realised that it had been made by K-2 before Scarif in case anything went wrong. It has all of his software and programming so all we need is a suitable droid and we can have K-2 back!" Jyn was practically bouncing the the good news and a grin appeared on everyone's faces- even Bodhi's.

A chorus of "thank the maker" and other alike phrases were said by the men in their glee.

"I'm so happy that we'll have him back. I've really missed his pessimistic and sarcastic ass," Cassian laughed and placed Bodhi's hand in his lap where he could run his fingers over the pilot's dark skinned palm.

"If Chirrut were here, I think he'd be happy too. Even if he didn't really like that goddamn droid, i knew that he actually loved him," Baze laughed and a soft expression fell upon his face as he thought of his lover.

Bodhi's body went rigid and he fought the urge to run away from the table into the safety of his room.

"I-I'm sorry that I-I couldn't save him," Bodhi whispered.

Jyn sighed sympathetically and held Bodhi's free hand. Baze's expression turned to one of kindness and amity. He tried to catch the gaze of the pilot but the long haired man's eyes kept jumping around the room.

"Hey, kid, listen. You couldn't have done anything to save Chirrut. You did all you could. I loved that damn monk with all my heart but even I know how much of a wild, careless man he was.

"You saved the rest of us, Bodhi. You were the one that sent the transmission up to the Alliance star ships and you where the one who managed to find an undamaged ship and flew us all to safety even with multiple blaster wounds. Bodhi, you're a hero and even though you think that Chirrut is gone. He's not. He's still with us.

"He became at one with the force and he is now the stars above us and ground beneath us. He is the flowers that bloom and the wind that blows. He is the sun and the moon and everything. Chirrut is still here with us, Bodhi. Never forget that, my friend."

Bodhi didn't notice the tear rolling down his cheek until it was wiped away by Cassian. He tried to smile at the rebel but something in Cassian's sparkling eyes told him that he didn't need to pretend to be okay.

And the heart beat of the man, which Bodhi could feel through their clasped hands, told him that he never had to pretend to be okay again.


	5. Solen and Stars

 

When Bodhi woke up, Cassian was still fast asleep. The pilot gazed at the sleeping man and trailed his eyes across his face, taking in every beautiful flaw of the rebel.

Bodhi noticed his olive skin seemed to glow with contentment and a his peach lips pouted a little. His small, dark moustache ran across his top lip and a small amount of stubble grew along his sharp jawline. His eyebrows would furrow every so often for a few seconds before his face returned to its neutral state. With every breath, his hair would slightly lift from skin until Bodhi built up the courage to carefully brush it from his face.

Everything about Cassian made Bodhi's heart swell and a warm feeling to take over his chest. To the pilot, Cassian was everything that he couldn't be. Cassian was the human embodiment of humour, compassion, bravery and honesty. Cassian wasn't known for his kindness yet that was all the had shown Bodhi, a fact which only made Cassian seem more perfect in the eyes of the pilot.

Bodhi managed to pull his gaze away from the sleeping spy, who had appeared in the small hours of the morning after another intense nightmare, and looked at his clock.

**08 : 30**

Bodhi sighed and placed his head back onto the pillow. He only had half an hour until his appointment with Dr Solen.

Holding in his breath as to be as quiet as possible, he tried to climb out of the small cot- a feat which was extremely hard to do as Cassian slept on the outside of the bed and Bodhi's side was flat against the wall.

"Bodhi?" Cassian yawned and opened one eye. He saw that the pilot was precariously positioned a few centimetres above him. The pilot blushed and quickly pushed himself off the bed, luckily landing on his feet.

"Morning, Cassian. I didn't mean to wake you," he smiled shyly. A confused look was on Cassian's face.

"Where are you going?"

"Erm, I-I have an meeting with D-Dr Solen," he replied a little embarrassed. He had to meet the doctor every Sunday and Wednesday, although he was hoping that the doctor would consider reducing their meetings to once a week or even once every two weeks.

"Why didn't you wake me? Do you want me to walk you there?" Cassian said as he sat up and went to leave the bed. Bodhi shook his head and placed his hand on Cassian's toned chest and softly pushed him back down.

"No, it's okay, Cassian. Today is Sunday and your day off. I'll be back before noon. Enjoy your day off and have a lie-in," he persuaded and slowly walked toward his small wardrobe and took out his clean uniform. He turned to Cassian with the clothes in his hands and noticed that he'd turned his face towards he wall, to offer the pilot some privacy.

He smiled to himself at the rebel's respectful behaviour and quickly changed into his clothes, before starting his search for a hair band.

"Cassian, you haven't seen a hair band at all have you?"

The rebel rolled over to look at the pilot and pulled a small black band from the pocket of his sweatpants. "May I?"

Bodhi understood what he was asking and sat on the edge of his bed, giving Cassian enough room to move.

The strange feeling of the rebel's fingers stroking his hair sent his heart into overdrive. Even the smallest touch from Cassian seemed to have this effect on Bodhi, every cell buzzed and every time their skin brushed electric soared through his veins.

Cassian sighed and tenderly pulled back his long, ebony coloured hair and started to slowly braid it.

"Your hair is so beautiful, Bodhi. So beautiful..." his voice trailed off as his focused his attention on the complex braid he was attempting to recreate on Bodhi. A braid traditionally worn by the mysterious warriors of Fest.

The _Maj'kow_ were the heroes in every story Cassian was told as a child. They were the rogue defenders of the Force; too wild for the Jedi order yet just as strong. They weren't perfect nor were they without their flaws, yet they always found a way to save the weak. In another life, Bodhi would've made the perfect _Maj'kow_.

"All done," he announced and grinned at the way Bodhi's face lit up when he saw himself in the mirror.

"Thank you so much Cass!"

"No problem, Bodhi. You better be heading off now- are you sure that you don't want me to come with you?"

Bodhi nodded. "Yes, Cassian. I'll be fine. I'll see you later," he said softly.

"See you soon Bodhi. Stay safe," Cassian replied.

Bodhi smiled before he left the bunk and started his walk to the office of Dr. Solen.

»«

"So, Bodhi, how have you been?" The woman said once Bodhi sat in front of her desk in the tattered leather chair. Her notes were spread out over her marked table and Bodhi's file lay open in front of her.

Bodhi nervously played with his braid.

"I-I'm good. The past few days I've been feeling so much better," he answered honestly.

Dr. Solen tilted her head and smiled a little. "You have? Do you know why?" She kept her voice soft. It had been the first time she had see Bodhi so genuinely at peace.

"I-I've been spending more time with my friends, E-especially Cassian. Around him, I just feel so h-happy," a small smile had settled on his lips.

"That's great, Bodhi. I'm happy that you've started to feel better. You've come such a long way since your last episode."

_  
-Bodhi, what happened? I thought you said you were starting to stop blaming yourself._

_-I'm sorry Dr. Solen. I lied to you. I don't know what happened, it just became so overwhelming and the dreams haven't let me sleep properly. All I see when I close my eyes is Scarif and Jedha and Saw Gerrera's prison. I just couldn't take it anymore._

_-Bodhi, you don't have to call me Dr. Solen. My name is just Andromeda._

_Silence_.

_-I've let down everyone. Jyn is angry with me, Baze is tired of me and Cassian- I can't even face him. He keeps saying that what I did is his fault but it's not. It's mine._

_-I'm sure that they're not angry at you. They all care for you a lot. Cassian is just worried about you._

_-He's going on a mission soon so it doesn't matter. Hopefully by the time he comes back, I'll be dead._

_-you don't mean that, Bodhi. You know that you don't._

_-I don't know._

  
"How do you feel when you're with Mr Andor?" The dark haired woman noted down the rebel's name on a sheet of lined paper.

Bodhi thought for a moment before answering.

"I-I feel like I'm not me. All the bad thoughts in my head quieten, they don't disappear but they don't shout at me l-like usual. He makes me s-smile without having to do anything, like he can just look at m-me and I know that I'm going to be okay.

"When I have nightmares or panic, he's always there and I-I know that it's okay to cry. He doesn't judge me or visibly pity me, he just let's me cry to him and reminds m-me that he's there," Bodhi rushed to get all of his words out.

Dr. Solen nodded and smiled as she wrote down some key notes.

"I've only briefly met Mr Andor once but he seems like a good man," she replied.

"He really is."

Dr. Solen seemed unsure whether to ask her next question yet she knew that she was required to do so.

"I'm happy that you're feeling better but I have to ask- have you recently hurt yourself in anyway? Or have you thought about it?"

Bodhi's smile disappeared but he knew that the question was bound to pop up during their hour together.

"I-I think about doing it everyday. When I look at objects I think about how I could use them but I-I don't. I know that it won't help me and I do truly want to get b-better. I feel ashamed just thinking about it b-but I know that now I'm spending more time with Cassian, it'll get better," Bodhi spoke confidently.

Dr. Solen took more notes before looking up at Bodhi who was fiddling with the end of his braid. She recognised it to be in the style of the _Maj'kow_. She smiled to herself.

"Bodhi, do you know where I'm from?"

The pilot shook his head.

"I was born in Alderaan and lived there until just before it was destroyed by the Empire. However my mother was from Fest," she paused for a moment before continuing, "my mother would often tell me tales of a band of warriors called the _Maj'kow_ \- they were very much like your friend Chirrut: skilled in the ways of the Force.

"The _Maj'kow_ were made of all different species and races yet they all shared two things- white eyes and long hair which would be braided in a fashion very much like yours. Who braided your hair, Bodhi?"

"C-Cassian,"

"Well, the _Maj'kow_ are a very important part of our culture. They represent all that is brave courageous in the galaxy. Cassian must care very deeply for you if he gave you part of who we are." She smiled warmly at the blushing man.

"Y-yeah. I guess s-so."

"I have a deal for you. If I see that you are getting better after a few weeks, I'll reduce our sessions to once a week. Okay?"

Bodhi smiled and nodded eagerly.

"Thank you, Andromeda. Thank you for believing in me."

"It's no problem, Bodhi. You're a good man. Now let's get on to your tasks for next few days."


	6. The Story Of The Sky

 

It was **02 : 24** when Bodhi heard crying through the wall.

He had been lying in his bed, halfway between the land of restless sleep and the land of consciousness. The noise slightly startled the young pilot but what truly caught him unawares was the fact that the person who was crying was almost most definitely Cassian.

His chest swelled with anxiety but he sat up and pulled up his hair which he had decided to leave free flowing that night.

He sat up from his cot and while still wearing his normal sleeping attire, he crept out of his room but not before clipping his necklace around his thin neck.

He shut the door lightly and turned left before walking the few steps to Cassian's bunk.

He knocked gently three times and walked in when he heard another choked sob.

He had only seen the inside of Cassian's rooms a few times but never long enough to get a good look of the place. Even in the dim light, he could tell that the walls were the same grey as his however they were intricately decorated with sketches and written notes, photographs and mementos from previous missions.

A desk ran across the southern wall. The marred combination of metal and wood was cluttered with mission reports and Bodhi could see that the rebel had been attempting to add modifications to his blaster from the fragments of metal and wiring among the papers.

Along the west wall was Cassian's bed which looked to be a little bit wider than his own, this wasn't a surprise though as one could guess that being a captain came with small perks.

The small amount of light, that slipped around the door, partially illuminated the crying man. His body rocked back and forth and his arms were tightly circled around his bent knees. His breathing was choppy and shallow as well as uneven, he swallowed the air as hard as possible within the small gaps that appeared in between the chest wracking sobs.

Bodhi quickly shut the door and before allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness, he ran to the bed.

He knelt on the hard mattress and pulled Cassian firmly into his chest. The rebel placed his forehead in the small gap between Bodhi's shoulder and neck and deeply breathed in his friend.

Bodhi rocked Cassian steadily in his arms, breathing slowly and calmly to allow the rebel to copy the pattern. Slowly but surely, Cassian followed his example.

They stayed like that for an unknown amount of time. The clock thought five minutes, Bodhi thought ten, Cassian thought he had spent eternity in the smaller man's arms. Bodhi stroked Cassian's hair carefully and ran his hands over the rebel's arms and back, whispering a mantra into Cassian's ear.

"It's okay, Cass. I'm here. You're okay."

Cassian's sobs weakened over the following minutes yet tears still ran from his eyes like rain in summer storm.

"You d-died!" Cassian choked out and clung to the thin shirt on Bodhi's torso. He buried his face deeper into the dark skinned man's neck and allowed the pilot to tighten his grip on him.

"It's okay, Cass. It was just a dream. I'm here with you now," he soothed.

Cassian shook his head slightly as though he were trying to banish the images which had just torn his psyche and spirit.

"It was Scarif and the planet was being ripped apart. I could see you so close to me and I was running to try and get you but no matter now hard I ran, you didn't get many closer. When I finally got to you, I was so close, you just collapsed to the floor bleeding. There was so much blood. And I kept screaming your name but nothing would come out my mouth!

"You were gone, Bodhi. I couldn't save you." Cassian's voice was painfully dry as he wept.

Bodhi felt a lump in his throat form at Cassian's words and the state he was in. He slowly leant back so that he was lying on his back with Cassian still curled into his body. Bodhi couldn't think of any words to say, he knew from personal experience that there wasn't much you could say to ease someone's suffering- especially if their own mind was the cause of the it.

"Cassian Jeron Andor, I will never leave you. The only person who can part us is the Maker themself, and I'd happily put up a fight." He felt Cassian's small smile against his skin.

"Shall I tell you a story?"

Cassian nodded.

"What type of story would you like, Cass?"

The rebel thought for a moment before replying, "a story about the sky."

Bodhi was quiet for a few seconds before running his hand along Cassian's back and beginning his tale.

"Back in Jedha, when I was very young, my father would tell my sister and I a story every night before we went to sleep. One night while we were changing into our pyjamas, my father called us outside.

"We lived on the outskirts of Jedha City, right next to the shield wall and on a clear night you could see the dark blue sky and all the stars and planets it held.

"My father made us lie on our backs on the roof of our hut and started telling the story once Abhaya had settled down.

" _A long, long time ago_ , he said _, there was a woman named Shrishti and she had three children called the Sun, the Stars and the Moon; and she loved each one with all her heart. The Sun was the oldest and when he was old enough, he asked his mother for her blessing so he could create the planets. She agreed and he created planets for as far as his eye could see._

_"When the Stars came of age, he decided that he wanted to travel and so he split himself into thousands of pieces and spread himself throughout the galaxy and helped the Sun in creating the planets._

" _Finally, when the moon came of age, she did not wish to leave her mother yet she missed her brother's terribly and so, like the stars, she sent parts of herself all over the galaxy to help protect the planets with her elder brothers._

_"And while Shrishti missed her children, she was never alone. The planets which her children had created together had bloomed into pictures of beauty with their vast blue oceans and yellow deserts, their lush greenery and the beings which survived in habitats which had been provided._

"When Shrishti misses her children, she looks at all the lives they made together. She looks at you and I and then she remembers that as long as the Sun and the Stars and the Moon provide life to the planets, no one can be truly alone."

The room fell silent and Bodhi was convinced that Cassian had fallen asleep until he spoke up.

"Your father sounds like a wonderful man."

Bodhi smiled wistfully, "he truly was."

Cassian pulled his face from Bodhi's neck and gazed adoringly at the pilot.

"He'd be proud of the man you are, Bodhi."

A genuine smile lightened up his face, "I doubt it, but I hope so."

Cassian went to protest but he was silenced by Bodhi's finger.

"Shhhh, you need sleep. Zip up your mouth and close your eyes."

Cassian let go of Bodhi slightly and looked at Bodhi's large brown eyes worriedly.

The Pilot couldn't help but notice how rich and genuine Cassian's eyes were. In the rebel's chocolate coloured irises, an endless ocean of knowledge and emotion whipped up to create tidal waves of feelings inside the pilot's heart.

"Bodhi," Cassian whispered, "will you stay with me?"

Bodhi nodded and slid under the covers with the rebel, quickly pressing a soft, tender kiss to his forehead.

He smiled gently and pulled Cassian into his arms. "Of course," he whispered, "I'll stay for as long as you want me to."

Cassian looked up with wide, caring eyes. "What if I want you forever?"

Bodhi pushed a small strand of dark hair from Cassian's forehead. "Then, forever I will stay."


	7. The Ethereal And Celestial

 

There was something that Bodhi was hiding and Cassian could tell. His attitude had changed seemingly overnight.

Cassian started to notice the difference in Bodhi a little while after Dr. Solen had informed him that he only needed to see her once a week. Cassian was deeply worried about him.

Whenever Cassian touched him, even accidentally, Bodhi would tense up and shift away. His spoke less than usual and he didn't seem to be able to hold eye contact for more than a second.

Cassian missed the security of the Bodhi's arms. He missed the endless musings that they shared as they lay awake into the small hours cradling each other. He yearned for Bodhi's soft touch against his back and his thin fingers that traced intricate designs upon his skin.

One thing he was thankful for was that whenever Cassian needed him, Bodhi would always come to him no matter what he was doing or where he was. In the dead of night he'd slip into Cassian's room after lights out. Some days he'd come even if neither of them had had a nightmare.

All he could think about, while he was making adjustments to the new shell of K-2, was Bodhi.

The day was Saturday. It was a day that excited Cassian as he knew that he could spend the whole of the following day with his friend.

On Sundays they would often just lie in Cassian's bed for hours. Bodhi would usually read his latest book aloud for Cassian to immerse himself in the poetic words or Cassian would play music from his cassette or record player.

The rebel smiled as he remembered the first time he introduced Bodhi to the music that set his heart alight after just one chord.

_Bodhi stopped talking when he noticed the faint rhythm playing in the background._

_-Cassian, what's that noise?  
Bodhi tilted his head and the rebel had to bit his lip to keep him from laughing at Bodhi's adorably confused face._

_-It's music, Bod._

_-Yes I know that it's music, Cass. I'm not that much of an idiot you know! There was music back on Jedha._

_Bodhi playfully narrowed his eyes and pouted. Cassian laughed and tapped the pilot's nose with his index finger._

_-This, my friend, is called Soul._

_-Soul?_

_-Yes, Bod. It was created by the original rebels hundreds of years ago when the Sith were all powerful. It's my favourite type of music._

_Bodhi nodded and rested his head back on Cassian's lap and allowed the rebel to wind the long hair around his fingers._

_-I love it Cass._

_Cassian smiled and placed a quick peck on the pilot's forehead. Bodhi's cheeks bloomed with a bright blush._

_-And I love-  
Cassian caught himself and played it off by singing along to the song._

_Bodhi looked at him with his large doe eyes and Cassian felt that feeling that he always felt whenever Bodhi looked at him._

_-what do you love Cass?_

_Cassian kept his face neutral and tried his best to keep his voice level._

_-T-this song. I love this song._

_Bodhi nodded and smiled softly, yet Cassian saw an odd look flash in his eyes although it only lasted for a fraction of a second. he was convinced that he was just tricking himself into believing that Bodhi felt what he felt._

"Cassian, you seem distracted. Why is that?" K-2SO asked. Although the droid had annoyed the rebel with its nonstop questions, he was happy to have the ex-imperial back.

"It's nothing Kay-Too. I'm just tired," Cassian responded.

"Sure. But honestly, has your melancholy have anything to do with Mr Rook?" The droid's tone could be easily mistaken for one used by an exasperated parent.

"What? No, Kay-Too. Bodhi is fine, I think."

"Well Dameron and Bey told me that you liked Rook in a romantic way and you were sad because you're not sure if he feels the same. Dameron says that he does, though." K-2SO tilted his head at Cassian and sighed at the rebel's stuttering and blushing state.

"W-what? I don't like Bodhi like that! What the kriff is going on in that laser-brain's head?" He said too defensively.

"Honestly you humans are so stupid. I can tell by your heartbeat that you like Rook so I don't get what all the fuss is about. There is an _87.56%_ chance of Rook liking you back so why don't you just tell him? I don't know why it's so hard," K-2 stood up as his repairs where finished and pressed a button which would allow him to properly move his fingers.

"He doesn't like me, Kay-Too. He's been acting weird lately and I think that he regrets being my friend," Cassian spoke truthfully while trying to push down the lump in his throat.

"Why don't you just ask him about his behaviour then? Surely that is the most logical course of action?"

"I know but I'm scared of what he'll say. Maybe his behaviour will change soon."

"Cassian, there is no point in constantly questioning yourself and making yourself unhappy when you can easily solve the problem. Even if he says that he doesn't want to be friends, although the probability of that is only 16.7%, he doesn't deserve your romantic feelings."

Cassian didn't reply but instead nodded his head and his mind wondered to what might be the answer to his burning question.

»«

It was already dark when Bodhi arrived at Cassian's room after coming straight back from a meeting with the Princess.

Cassian had turned on the various, small lamps around the bunk room and was sitting at his desk, writing up a report following the return of K-2SO.

He typed at his pad quickly and only briefly looked up when the wide eyed man entered the room and lay down on his usual side of the bed. He sighed and slipped out of his jacket and pulled off his goggles, leaving him in his dark blue overalls.

The pair sat in silence before Bodhi made the decision to turn on the record player and play Cassian's favourite vinyl.

The tone of the EP was slightly sad and held an air of nostalgia. Bodhi couldn't understand any of the songs' lyrics as they weren't in Basic yet he found comfort in the way the foreign words rolled off the tongue. Cassian himself had spoke in the language in the heat of his nightmares or when he was cradling Bodhi's half asleep body.

"Bodhi, I need to ask you something," Cassian announced without turning around from his work. The pilot's palms dampened as his heart filled with anxiety.

"Sure Cass, what's up?" He spoke gingerly.

"Why don't you like me anymore?" The rebel spun round his chair and watched as Bodhi's face contorted into one of shook and utter confusion.

"What do you mean, Cass? I-I don't understand."

Cassian dropped his gaze to the floor and ran his hands through his hair.

"In these past few weeks, you've been acting really weirdly around me. Like you flinch whenever I come near you and it seems like you never want to spend time with me unless it's at night. What have I done?" His eyes slowly began to fill tears but he quickly wiped them away before Bodhi could see.

The look of confusion was still etched upon Bodhi's face however now it was also joined by an expression of guilt.

The pilot opened his mouth but closed it before he could form a word. He screwed up his eyes before trying again.

"You haven't done anything, Cass. I promise. I-I have some news and I couldn't find the courage to tell you so like always I closed up and acted like an arsehole. I'm so sorry that I made you feel like it was your fault."

Cassian looked up and locked eyes with Bodhi. "W-what is your news?" He asked nervously.

The pilot took a deep breath before letting the words spew from his mouth. "I've been asked to join Kes on a mission to Tatoonie."

The room went quiet. Even the record had stopped playing. Cassian stared at him in shock.

"What? W-what did you say?"

"I said yes," Bodhi mumbled. His diverted his eyes from Cassian and instead watched himself as he picked a loose thread on his overalls.

"Y-you said yes?" Cassian whispered.

Bodhi nodded.

"When do you go?"

"In two weeks..." the pilot's voice trailed off.

"Two weeks?! What the hell, Bodhi? You can't just go to fucking Tatoonie without even speaking to me about it! You haven't been on a mission since Scarif and the first one they send you on is Tatoonie! Bodhi, you need to tell them that you can't go. You're not ready!"

Bodhi shot up and his mouth had set into a hard line.

"What the hell does that mean, Cassian? What do you mean I'm not ready?" His voice was becoming louder and louder by the word.

Cassian blinked and stuttered, "I-I didn't mean-"

"What? Don't you think that I'm mentally able to do a mission? I'm better now, Cassian! I don't need you fucking mothering me, I'm a goddamn adult if you've forgotten. I'm not some naïve, innocent child that you can just use for attention and to boost your own self esteem!" He shouted and balled his hands into fists.

Cassian sat gobsmacked before the hurt gripped his heart in a vice-like grip.

"I know that, Bodhi! I just worry about you. And how dare you say that I just use you to make myself feel better! You know me, Bodhi, and you know that that isn't true. I've opened myself up so much to you. I've been there for you every time and vice-versa. Do you think that all of that meant nothing to me?" Cassian didn't notice the tears pouring down his cheeks.

"N-no, of course not. I didn't mean what I said, Cass. I'm sorry. I'm just- I don't know. I've fucked everything up now." Bodhi sat down again and put his head in his hands.

"I know, Bodhi. I'm sorry too. I just care about you so much that I worry like mad," Cassian walked from his chair and sat on the bed next to Bodhi's hunched over body.

"Why?" Bodhi whispered, "why would you care for a waste like me? Why do you even want me to be your friend even though I drag you down like a lead weight?"

Cassian sucked in a breath and leant his head against Bodhi's shoulder. He scrunched his eyes tight and answered honestly, "I think that I'm in love with you, Bod."

The pilot didn't respond straight away and so Cassian braced himself for the speech of _'I'm sorry, but-'._

"I'm in love with you too," Bodhi whispered.

Cassian's heart leapt to his throat and his eyes widened. He couldn't speak but let out a small choked gasp.

Bodhi raised his face and stared at the eyes that he so dearly admired. He placed his hand on Cassian's cheek and ran his thumb along the rebel's sharp jaw. Cassian leant his head a little so their foreheads were pressed against each other's and their lips were a centimetre apart.

The men shared the small amount of air between them and brushed noses.

"How is it that you're so beautiful, Cass? How was I blessed with someone as ethereal as you?" Bodhi mumbled, his lips barely grazed Cassian's, yet his skin buzzed.

"I ask myself the same thing every time I think of you," Cassian replied with a deep blush.

The pair leant closer until their lips finally met. Cassian's hands settled on Bodhi's hips and pulled him into his lap before wrapping his arms around his body. Bodhi's free hand delved into Cassian's thick, chestnut hair and pulled their faces closer together.

In that moment, two bodies became one and their souls finally connected.

Cassian opened his lips slightly, giving Bodhi the opportunity to explore his mouth. The rebel pulled away for a split second to breathe before reconnecting their lips and pulling slightly on the pilot's bottom lip with his teeth.

Bodhi was next to pull away but this time he put his hands on the hem of Cassian's shirt and looked at Cassian with questioning eyes. The rebel nodded and helped Bodhi pull the tight black shirt over his head, revealing his bare chest.

Bodhi fanned out his fingers over Cassian's burning skin while Cassian started to pull down the zip of the pilot's overalls. Once it was halfway undone, Cassian started to pull up Bodhi's shirt but he was stopped by the Pilot.

"Uh, I-I have scars on my chest. Really ugly ones. I don't want you to have to see them," Bodhi explained sadly.

Cassian looked at the pilot with warm eyes and bruised lips. "Bodhi, you are the most beautiful being I have ever seen, scars and all. _Mi amor_ , even the stars and the gods are envious of your pure beauty."

Bodhi placed a scorching kiss on Cassian's eager lips and allowed him to remove his shirt.

Once it was off, Cassian ushered Bodhi up the bed onto his back before straddling him and looking at the pilot with a mixture of passion, adoration and want.

Cassian's eyes trailed from Bodhi's face to his chest where he was greeted by the scars that were etched upon his warm, brown skin.

His finger traced the jagged lines that were born from the blade of a knife, and the circular wounds that had followed blaster shots. He leant down and pressed sweet kisses to each discoloured patch and mumbled praises upon his skin.

"You're so perfect, my love. I've traveled through the galaxy more times than I can count and out of all the celestial bodies, yours will always be my favourite."

Bodhi blushed harder and pulled Cassian under him, so now he was straddling the rebel captain. His shaking hands ghosted over the waistband of Cassian's sweatpants. "May I?"

"Of course, my love." he kissed Bodhi as the pilot inched the sweatpants down his long legs and threw them to join the array of clothing that had already hit the floor.

Cassian's wandering hands returned the favour by pulling down the rest of Bodhi's overalls until the pilot could easily kick them off.

Now with only their boxers on, Bodhi rested his forehead on his lover's.

"I love you so much, Cass," he said softly.

Cassian smiled and kissed Bodhi. He whispered back,

"And I love you, with all of my heart."


	8. The Pursuit Of Happiness

 

"Cass, if you could go anywhere in the entire galaxy, where would you go?"

The rebel smiled at his lover's seemingly random question but continued to braid the pilot's onyx hair.

"Hmm, I don't know. I've never really thought about it. Although Jyn told me about a planet that she was brought up on Lah'mu. It's so far away that most people have never heard of it but it has black soil and sand and so much green. I like the idea of being away from the troubles of the galaxy and just to be able to enjoy one day at a time."

Bodhi nodded.

"Why'd you ask, love?" Cassian raised his eyebrows at the pilot as he twisted and manipulated his hair into an intricate braid.

"I just wondered," Bodhi said.

"What about you, Bo? Where would you like to go?"

"I'd like to Jedha, but go back to how it was before the Empire invaded. It was so beautiful, Cass. We lived in the Holy City so we'd always run to see the Jedi when they came to the church and to get their Kyber crystals to make their lightsabers. Abhaya used to say that she wanted a purple one like Mace Windu."

Cassian watched Bodhi's face carefully. It was rare when Bodhi spoke about his family and life before joining the Empire; although it seemed that over time it was becoming easier and easier for Bodhi to remember.

They had decided to spend the evening outside on the balcony which overlooked the small hangar where Rogue Two was positioned. By now dusk had started to settle and paint the sky with thick brush strokes of pinks and purples and orange. The Sun balanced on the horizon and on that clear night, it was possible to see Yavin. The sky reminded Cassian of the old folk tale that Bodhi had once shared.

"What lightsaber did you want, love?" He tied the bottom of the braid with a black band.

"I wanted a blue one like Obi-Wan Kenobi," he laughed.

The sound of Bodhi Rook's laughter couldn't be described in any human words by Cassian Andor. It was a melodic noise that floated through the air like a cloud across the summer's sky. His voice was the first drops of rain in a year of drought; the first cherry blossom of Spring; the knowledge of home when on a mission.

When Bodhi laughed, it reminded Cassian how far both of them had come from the sleepless nights and anxiety. Home were the days of flashing images of war behind closed eyes, of course they would still wake up with their hearts racing and screams from their lips, yet they knew within seconds of waking that they were safe.

"What was your family like, Love?" Cassian asked.

Bodhi sighed as the rebel placed a small kiss on the nape of his neck.

"They were wonderful. My father was called Bandhu but he died when I was young; when I was about ten I was told that my father had been killed while working for Galen Erso. My father was part of the imperial forces but like Galen, he did it because he had to. He was such a kind and wise man, from what I remember, he was like the perfect mix of Baze and Chirrut. Do you know what I mean?" He looked up at Cassian who was sat on the small bench they had dragged out with great difficulty, much to the dismay of the few other residents of the long corridor.

"When my father would leave us for missions he would always say 'respect existence or expect resistance', I never really understood what he meant but I guess that now I do.

"When he died, it was just Abhaya, my mother and I. Abhaya was two years younger than me but we were often mistaken as twins. She was so beautiful, honestly if she were here right now, you would've left me right away for her. She had all the good genes I guess- she was intelligent, funny, brave and pretty.

"In my language, Abhaya means 'fearless' and that's exactly what she was like. There was a girl that she loved who lived on the other side of the city and whenever our mother was asleep, she'd creep onto the roof and jump across the shacks and buildings until she reached the other side of the city. At the time, the Imperials placed a curfew on the city but she didn't care. She'd rather risk her life than not see her love," Bodhi sighed and leaned into Cassian's embrace. He smiled at the warmth emitted from arms and placed a quick kiss on his jaw.

"You're the only person I will ever love, Bodhi," Cassian murmured into his ears softly. Bodhi sighed at the warming words and continued.

"My mother wasn't as reckless as Abhaya or I but she still did little things everyday to defy the Empire. She'd sneak food into the Temple while it was besieged and she would sometimes tip off the rebels when she heard anything. My mother would've adored you, Cass. Honestly, she would've loved everything about you. Her name was Usha."

Bodhi rubbed away the tear that managed to escape the edge of his eye. He smiled at the memories of his family and stood up. He sat down next to Cassian and wrapped his arms around his waist, feeling all bad feelings leave his body at Cassian's touch.

"I'm honoured to love the son of such a brave family," Cassian said into his hair.

Bodhi looked up and pressed his lips to Cassian's gently, as though the man were made of glass. He loved the way in which Cassian's lips were both powerful and gentle at the same time.

"W-what was your family like, love?"  
Bodhi realised that he didn't know much about the Andor family bar what he'd heard in passing.

"My parents too died when I was young. My father was called Asier and my mother was called Izar but she died giving birth to me. I don't remember much of my father but I remember that he was a clever man but never a fighter. I guess that my father passed away trying something new- he was protesting at the Carida Academy when he was shot, when I was six.

"He'd always have these clothes, Bodhi. Grey, woollen robes that he wear around the house to keep warm. He used to wear thin, circular glasses on the edge of his nose and when he went to tell me off; he'd push them up to the bridge with his index finger and say 'Cassian, I am know you are better than this. Show me who you really are and stop playing up'. My father had the same colour hair as you and the same skin tone as Jyn but he and I had the same eyes.

"And In the dark, Hoth-winter days my father would make tea and we'd sit by the fire together and read. He'd read stories about the _Maj'kow_ and I'd imagine him and i being the warriors as they protected our world and people from the Sith."

Cassian smiled sadly and rubbed his hands along Bodhi's waist. He peppered small kisses over the pilot's neck and cheeks and basked in the burning blush that turned his nose and cheeks hot pink.

"I'm sorry, Cass. You deserved better. You've always deserved better," Bodhi whispered against Cassian's olive skin.

"It's okay, beautiful. I see it as the Force's will. If the past didn't happen the way it did, I may not be sitting here hugging the most brave and beautiful star in the galaxy," Cassian responded.

"You make me so happy, Cass. When I see you flipping someone off or hear your sarcastic remarks, it reminds me that there is always good in the galaxy. And even if the whole galaxy goes to shit and the Empire kills us all, I'll be happy to die knowing that I had the privilege of kissing your lips and holding you in my arms," Bodhi gushed.

"By the Maker, Rook, you turn me into such a cheesy, lovesick fool," Cassian chuckled and rubbed the pilot's nose with his own.

"I would say the same thing about you, Andor."

»«

The pair sat down at the table where all of their friends had congregated. When they had free time, the rebels would often gather in the rec room and talk while they drank.

Jyn, Baze, K-2SO, Kes, Shara had been joined by Han Solo and Chewbacca, and the Jedi in training, Luke Skywalker.

Jyn smiled at Bodhi and patted the seat next to her. Bodhi smiled back and slid onto the bench, followed by Cassian. Jyn pulled Bodhi into a quick hug that Bodhi returned.

The pilot slipped his fingers into Cassian's and squeezed. Cassian copied his actions with a faint blush on his neck.

"...so I said to him, gee fella, I didn't mean to insult by calling you Jabba's son! I thought it was a compliment!" Luke, Baze and Kes laughed at the end of a heavily exaggerated story told by Han. Chewbacca roared and Han rolled his eyes, "yes, yes, Chewy. You were funny too."

The table fell into an array of chatter. Shara placed a small kiss on Kes' cheek while he spoke to Han and Baze; Bodhi noticed how the pilot's face lit up at the touch of his girlfriend's lips.

It made him wonder how Cassian would react if he were to kiss him in front of all of their friends. Would he be angry? Or would he not mind?

He smiled softly as he saw him excitedly engage in conversation with Luke and K-2SO. Cassian smiled with warmth when Shara left her seat next to Kes to join in the trio's conversation and she patted his head playfully.

"So, Bodhi. How are you?" Jyn patted his shoulder and grinned.

"I'm really good thanks. You?" Bodhi replied. The woman pulled a stray hair back from her face.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. I'm going back to Naboo for a while with the Princess to gather some more information about Palpatine and the Empire," she said. Bodhi nodded.

"I'm going to miss you," Bodhi confessed. Jyn ruffled his hair, "I'll miss you too, Bodhi. I'll be back before long to annoy you."

They both laughed.

"Anyway I heard that you are heading off to Tatoonie with Kes, huh? I bet your happy that you can fly again."

"Yeah, I guess. So how's-"

"Damn, Jyn. You never told me that you're dating Rook! Is that why you won't kiss me?" Han called from the other end of the table.

The other conversations stopped and everyone turned to the pair who fell into hysterical laughter.

The smirk on Han's lips fell and his eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "What's so funny, huh?" He said defensively.

Jyn turned to Bodhi with tears in her eyes and he covered his mouth to try and hide his grin.

"You think that we're together? That's funny, Han. Also I won't kiss you because I don't like you," Jyn said once she had caught her breath.

"What? I thought-"

"Rook, I didn't know you were dating Jyn! I thought that best friends told each other everything," Cassian turned with a smirk and discreet wink.

"Damn, Cass. I don't have to tell you everything that goes on in my life!" Bodhi responded trying to keep his face clean of emotion.

"Does this mean that I can't do this anymore?" Cassian proclaimed before grabbing Bodhi by the collars of his overalls and pulling him into him, passionately kissing him. Bodhi's eyes widened with shock but he settled into it and ran his hands through Cassian's hair and pushing him away forcefully.

"No, you can carry on doing that all you wish, Captain." Bodhi winked and laughed at the shocked rebels around the table. All had their mouths hanging open apart from Jyn, Shara and Baze. And well, K-2 because he didn't have a mouth.

"What?" The couple said simultaneously and raised their eyebrows.

"So, y-you two are together, huh?" Kes spoke up first.

"Really, Dameron? What gave it away?" Cassian said with a smirk and put his arm over Bodhi's shoulders. The other pilot rolled his eyes and tipped back on his chair.

"Well I don't get what the big fuss is about. I thought that it was pretty clear that Cassian and Rook were romantically involved. They're so lovey-dovey, I know that if I were capable of if, I'd throw up," K-2 said. Baze and Shara nodded in agreement.

"Thanks guys." Bodhi chuckled.

"How long have you been going out?" Jyn asked.

"Two weeks and six days," Cassian said and received a kiss on the cheek from his boyfriend.

"I'm really happy for you," the sandy haired Luke pushed his hair back and his big blue eyes sparkled. "Thanks, Luke," Bodhi replied.

The pilot noticed the way the Jedi's eyes quickly flickered to the cocky smuggler with a forlorn look in his eyes.

Bodhi raised an eyebrow at Luke but the boy just blushed and looked at his feet.

Han shook his growing hair and took a swig from his beer, "Now I feel more single than ever."

»«

It was night time by the time that the pair finally got back to Cassian's bunk room.

The smaller man had his legs wrapped around Cassian's hips and his arms around his chest.

"Bod, I have to put you down now. We're back." Cassian tried to loosen the grip that his boyfriend had on him. For such a slight person, Bodhi was extremely strong.

Cassian thought that it must've had something to do with his Imperial training.

"Nah, Cassy. 'M too tired. I'm just going to sleep," Bodhi mumbled into Cassian's neck. Cassian chuckled.

He managed to pick the pilot off of his back and placed him on the bed. "Bod, you need to change your clothes." The rebel gently smiled at the way his boyfriend looked up at him with the most adorable eyes he had ever seen.

"'M tired, Cassy. Just take my clothes off; you don't usually mind," Bodhi grumbled and managed to wink drowsily.

Cassian crossed his arms and shook his head playfully. "Bodhi, you're such a damn child sometimes."

"But you love me anyway."

"Hmm maybe."

Bodhi sat up using elbows and scowled at Cassian. He sighed and kicked off his shoes and socks, pulled down his overalls and threw his shirt to the floor. He lay only in his boxers and raised an eyebrow at Cassian who watched him curiously.

The rebel knelt on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on the pilot's heaving chest. He pulled off his own shirt and threw it too the floor and then kissed his boyfriend. He smiled as Bodhi sighed and pulled his closer. He detached his lips from the pilot's and kissed down his long neck. He nipped slightly at the skin and watched as Bodhi's dark skin slightly buised. He ran his tongue over the lovebites to soothe them and kissed back up to the pilot's jaw and parted lips.

Bodhi kissed back before moving away from the rebel and slipping under the covers, leaving Cassian puzzled.

"I'm sorry, I only sleep with people who love me and you just said 'maybe' so... Night Cassy. Have a good night," Bodhi smirked and turned over so Cassian couldn't see his face.

"You're so childish," Cassian chuckled and took off his trousers.

"But you love me anyway," Bodhi mumbled into the pillow.

Cassian climbed into the bed and kissed the pilot's shoulder and pulled the smaller man into his arms.

"Always."


	9. A Mission

 

The sun's golden rays peaked from behind the grey curtains that draped from above the window. The morning light stretched out into the room and bathed the sleeping couple in a warm glow, casting arching shadows from their defined features.

The olive skinned man had his arms wrapped around the waist of his lover whom had his face nuzzled into the former's bare chest.

The pair had a matching set of fading red love bites dotted over their skin. Their bodies were completely bare if not for their boxers and the soft black duvet that messily lay draped over their bottom halves.

The sunlight caused the long haired pilot to awaken when it hit his eyes and he woke up a little dazed. His face broke into a smile when he saw Cassian's peaceful face. The rebel captain seemed so at ease while he was dreaming, all of the worry and stress of the galaxy seemed far away while they were in the hazy land of sleep.

His grin slipped a little when he noticed the time.

**04 : 45**

He would be leaving Yavin IV and his lover for Tatooine in just over an hour.

He didn't want to leave the warm sanctuary of Cassian's arms or the soft embrace of his lips. He wouldn't feel Cassian's burning touch on his skin or hear the low whispers of passion and love in his ear. For the coming weeks he'd be leaving part of himself on the green planet.

He placed a tender kiss on his boyfriend's nose and unwrapped himself from Cassian's toned arms. The older man's eyes opened a little and his eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion.

"Bod, where are you going?" He slurred sleepily. He extended his arms and made an attempt to grab Bodhi but the pilot was already in the process of grabbing his washing bag and heading for the door.

"I'll be back soon, darling. Sleep." Bodhi gazed lovingly at the rebel and slipped on a pair of sweatpants. he continued his way down the corridor and into the communal wash rooms.

His heart leapt in happiness when he saw that he was alone in the wash room. He hated the way that some of the rebels would look down on him for his previous affiliation but most of all he hated the looks of pity he received when others saw his scarred torso.

He taught his reflection in the mirror and turned his head. Over the span of their relationship, Cassian had managed to break away bits of Bodhi's self hatred but without his warm gaze and embrace, the feeling came back.

He bid the tears from his eyes and unchanged, then stepping into the shower and sighing as the coolness of the water sent goosebumps erupting over his body. Bodhi preferred cold showers, he told Cassian that it would help him wake up but in actual fact, it reminded him of his time in the Imperial forces- the last time he had had a true routine.

He quickly washed his body and hair before shutting off the water and wrapping his towel around his waist. He left the shower cubicle and cursed himself when he realised that he had left his clothes back in Cassian's/his room. That meant that he'd have to pray to the Maker that no one on the corridor would be up to see him run to his room with only a grey pair of jogging bottoms on.

He pulled his hair from his face in a quick swipe and brushed his teeth while trying to avoid his reflection in the mirror.

He felt his breath get trapped in his throat when he heard the washroom door open and three male voices enter the white tiled room.

He held the towel casually to his chest as to not arouse suspicion and swiped up his wash bag with his left hand. He made a beeline to the door but was stopped in his tracks when a large human hand landed on his shoulder. The pilot's body stiffened and he was unapologetically pulled around to face the three men.

His eyes jumped from face to face. The man touching him was a tall man with skin the colour of alabaster and piercing blue eyes. To his left was a slightly more muscular man with dark brown skin and a salmon pink scar across his left cheek. The third stood behind the two previously mentioned but he looked too young to he considered a man. He looked to be around fourteen at most.

"You're that Imperial pilot, right?" The grip on his shoulder tightened as he tried to pull away. Bodhi's eyes widened at the angry undertones of the man's voice and he shook his head, "N-no, no. I'm a pilot for the Alliance."

"No, you are. I've seen you with that Cassian Andor before. I don't forget a face, do I Wyllas?" The second man said to the first. The white haired man shook his head and his thin lips turned up in a cruel smirk, "no he doesn't; Timur never forgets a face. Why did you lie to us, Imperial?"

Bodhi's eyes flickered from Wyllas to Timur in panic. His heart thudded in his chest and he could feel the lump in his throat grow. "I need to go, I-I've been called out on a mission. Please just let me leave," Bodhi kept his voice as calm as he could yet a few tremors managed to slip in.

The grip on his arm loosened before Wyllas let go of his arm completely before wiping his hand on his black t-shirt. "Sure we'll let you leave, but don't think that I won't pray for your death everyday, Bodhi Rook."

Timur nodded in agreement.

Bodhi turned in silence to leave the washroom and didn't say anything as the towel he held was ripped from his grasp and he was pushed out into the corridor, the door slammed shut behind him.

Panic flooded the pilot and he tried to cover as much as his scarred chest as he could while he ran to his room. As he got halfway, a small voice startled him.

"I'm sorry about Wyllas and Timur. They can be so stupid. I know what you did on Scarif and if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be as close to defeating the Death Star as we are and we wouldn't have the Rogue One crew. I want you to know that I'll pray for your safe return everyday to counter my friends'."

Bodhi spun around and saw that the voice came from the young boy who had moments ago been in the washroom. He tilted his head in confusion but smiled at the boy's kind words.

"What is your name?" Bodhi asked.

"Keyan Farlander, sir."

"Thank you, Keyan." The pair nodded at each other before going their separate ways; Keyan to the washroom and Bodhi back to his bunk.

He slipped in the bunk quietly as to not awaken Cassian and quickly changed into his clothes. Kes had informed him that the mission would be an undercover to scout out any advancing Imperial forces in the region. As this was a fairly undercover mission, Kes decided that it would be appropriate to wear common Tatooine garments- sand coloured, loose fitting jumpsuits- which coincidentally provided them perfect cover for their blasters.

**05 : 30**

He sighed deeply and tiptoed to where his lover lay fast asleep which his face pressed firmly into Bodhi's pillow.

He wondered how he'd be able to cope without Cassian being by his side. Dameron estimated that they'd be gone for about two weeks however that time may be longer depending on how smoothly the mission went.

He crouched by the side of the bed and cupped Cassian's face in his hand, running his thumb across the rebel's chiselled features. He bid the tears from his eyes and placed a feathery kiss on his boyfriend's forehead, in the crease between his eyebrows.

"Bodhi, where are you going? It's not your mission today, is it?" Cassian mumbled and opened his eyes. His dark eyes fluttered a few times before they locked with Bodhi's. The pilot nodded. A look of panic swept across Cassian's face. The olive skinned man shot up into a sitting position, swung his legs over the side of the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around Bodhi's chest, pressing his face into the unfamiliar and scratchy material of Bodhi's clothes.

"No, no, not today," Cassian repeatedly whispered like a prayer. Bodhi tilted Cassian's face up with his finger and quietened the man's frantic words with a searing and desperate kiss. He allowed himself to drown in everything Cassian; his scent, his strong heartbeat, his warm skin, the texture of his lips upon his own and the taste of his mouth.

The men gripped each other as tightly as they could manage, pulling their bodies chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat.

There was a knocking at the door.

"Bodhi, it's time. The princess wants to talk to us before we leave," Kes spoke with a slight tone of guilt as though he knew what was happening between the couple.

"You better come back to me, Bodhi Rook, or I'll personally kick your perfect ass," Cassian mumbled onto Bodhi's up turned lips. He let out a breathy chuckle, "I'll always come back for you, Cassian Andor."

Cassian stood up with Bodhi as he walked towards the door. When it was opened, the rebel could see that his friend was dressed in apparel similar to his lover's and smiled tightly.

"Morning, Andor."  
"Morning, Dameron."

Bodhi turned back to Cassian as he stepped foot out of the bunk room and kissed him quickly, followed by a gentle hug.

"I love you, Bodhi," Cassian said.  
"I love you, Cass," Bodhi replied.

The pair exchanged a look before Bodhi walked away from the bunk room and down the corridor. Cassian slapped Kes' shoulder in a brotherly fashion and the pilot spun to face the rebel.

"I'll look after him. I'll bring him back to you, Cassian," the pilot spoke before the rebel could even open his mouth. Cassian smiled gratefully and exchanged a quickly embrace with the man.

"Thank you, Kes. He's all I've got," Cassian confessed. Kes nodded in understanding.

"I'll see you soon, brother," Kes said before walking away.

"Good luck."

»«

Baze shook his head at Jyn when he saw Cassian enter the canteen with a disheveled appearance- something Cassian was rare in having.

They watched as he grabbed a tray of food off of the cart and placed only an apple, a small salad and bottle of water upon it.

Cassian walked over to the pair and sat down next to Jyn with Baze across from him. K-2SO followed him a short time later and sat next to Baze.

The rebel cast his eyes down and set about slowly eating the salad. He felt the burning stare upon him and he lifted his head up in confusion.

"What's wrong?" He mumbled with his mouth full of lettuce. K-2SO turned his head and gaze to Cassian and spoke up first.

"You look a state, Cassian. Truly, you look awful. The last time I saw you like this was when your pilot was in hospital, after-"

"That's enough, Kay-too. But he's right, Cassian. He has only been a gone a week and he'll be back soon. You can't just fall apart every time he leaves, we all have jobs to do," Jyn spoke softly yet sternly. She placed her hand on Cassian's shoulder to soften her words.

Cassian didn't speak but carried on eating his salad, spearing it in frustration. "I know that, Jyn, but I don't know what else to do. I have no means of communication with him, he's on the other side of the galaxy in Tatooine and it's his first mission."

"Don't you trust him?" Baze said suddenly. The table fell quiet and Cassian looked at him shocked.

"Of c- of course, I do."

"Well then. You must trust him to make the right choices and come back in one piece. Even before you got together, he trusted you to come back safe. I'd see him, you know, on that balcony watching you every time Rogue Two landed and you were back on base. He'd wait all night once he heard word of your return and he'd watch you come back. Every time."

Baze took a swig of his water before continuing.

"I saw him do this while I was fixing some Star fighters, in case you're wondering. Look Cassian, all I'm saying is to trust the boy. He's not as weak as he looks." Baze rubbed his eyes and turned his attention back to eating the cheese and salad sandwich in front of him. He swore lightly when a drop of tomato sauce dropped onto his grey trousers.

"I agree with Baze. Bodhi is the strongest person that I've ever met. We all need to believe in him a bit more," Jyn's voice was almost a whisper.

Cassian wiped the stray tear from his eye and placed his head in his hands. Jyn placed her arm over his shoulder and rubbed his back gently.

"I do trust him. And I trust Kes. It's just that I love him so much," Cassian's voice was bare with emotion.

"We know, Cassian. He'll be home soon."

»«

"So, Rook. How is it that you managed to melt the icy heart of Cassian Andor?" Kes Dameron smiled at Bodhi whom sat next to him.

The pair were currently in a small room, the basement of a residence owned by the Hutts. Their hands were bound by heavy chains to the wall and the skin of their wrists had reddened and been rubbed raw.

Bodhi's bruised eyes managed to open a small amount and his threw a painful smile at his co-pilot.

Up close Bodhi could see the details of Kes' face that he'd never noticed before: the dark brown scar that trailed from his ear to his collarbone; the slightly askew nose, most likely the result of many breakages; the small dimples in his bruised cheeks.

"I don't know, Dameron. I guess it just happened," he wheezed as he tried to chuckled. The agony in his chest told him that his ribs were most likely broken.

Kes shuffled himself so he could face Bodhi properly. He grimaced at the man's bloodied face.

"You've changed Cassian so much- in a good way of course. I love the bastard like a brother but before he met you, he was a prick. All he cared about was the mission and his orders. He was a soldier. Then once he met you, he became an actual human."

Bodhi blushed and laughed painfully again.

"He'd made me a better person too. Before I had him I was a wreck. Just overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety and every night all I'd see was nightmares and all I'd wish was death," he let out a chest wracking cough, "and before then I was an Imperial cargo pilot and before then I was an orphan. Cass saved me."

The pair fell into silence and tried not to noticed the bloodcurdling screams of agony that came from the other cells or the stench of sweat, blood and grime.

"Shara is gonna kill me when we get back, and Cassian," Kes shook his head and tried to move his wrist into a more comfortable position within the shackles.

"I'll be dying with you, Kes," Bodhi nudged the other pilot with his elbow and crookedly smiled.

"It's been three weeks since we left. I wish that we'd never come on this goddamn mission. A few days before we left, Shara told me that she was pregnant. I was this close to telling the princess that I couldn't do the mission, but Shara convinced me to go," Kes smiled at the thought of his wife and shook his head.

"Shara's pregnant?! Congratulations, Kes! You're gonna be a dad!" Bodhi beamed. Kes grinned back.

"What are you going to call them? I hope that your's truly will get a look in. Bodhi Bey-Dameron sounds good," Bodhi joked. Kes slapped his arm playfully.

"We were thinking Poe; after Shara's father, or Elia; after my mother. What were your parents called, Bodhi?"

"I like those names. A-and My parents were called Usha and Bandhu. I also had a sister called Abhaya," Bodhi replied softly. Over the course of the conversation, he had felt his energy lessen and his body weaken against the pull of unconsciousness. He had a feel that Kes had noticed this, hence his questioning to try and keep Bodhi awake.

"They sound nice," Kes ran his hand through his short hair.

"They were," the dark skinned pilot replied sleepily.

"How about this: if I have a son, I'll call him Poe Asier- after Cassian's father- and if I have a girl, I'll call her Elia Abhaya- for your sister," Kes suggested.

Bodhi smiled and nodded slowly.

"S-sounds good," he slurred.

Kes eyes widened and he started to tap Bodhi repeatedly. "Hey buddy, you need to stay awake, okay? You can't sleep now, stay awake. Buddy?"

Bodhi's eyes closed regardless of Kes' protests.

"No. No. No. Bodhi, wake up!" The pilot put his hand under Bodhi's nose to make sure he was still breathing but he felt nothing.

"Bodhi, please!"

 

_-Hey, Kes._

_-Yeah, Bodhi?_  
Kes turned and rises an eyebrow at his co-pilot. The man had turned slightly ashen and a look of shock was bold in his eyes.  
-Bodhi, what's wrong?

_The dark skinned man moved his hands from his stomach and gasped at the rich red liquid that painted his skin._

_-I think that I've been shot.  
He whispered and fell into the sand around him._

_Kes threw down his blaster and he pulled Bodhi behind a wall and put his long haired head into his lap. He pressed his hands to the wound and tried to steam the flow with his hands._

_The pilot's wild eyes scanned the terrain to check for hostiles. Upon the horizon, on the roof of a building which was marooned in a shimmering ocean of sand, was a dark figure._

_Kes pulled up his binoculars hastily with one shaking hand and tried to zoom in on the figure. He saw that it was a guard with a sniper blaster._

_-Shit!_  
He hissed and applied more pressure to his friend's bleeding wound.  
-it's not too far to the ship, Bodhi. Hang on buddy.

_He noticed that the pilot lay limp in his arms._

_-Buddy, stay awake! Buddy!_


	10. Empty Arms And Desperate Charms

It had been three months since Bodhi Rook had left Yavin 4 to go on a mission to Tatooine with Kes Dameron.

It had been three months since Cassian Andor and Shara Bey had felt the fingers of their lovers intertwine with their own.

It was a grey day.

The sky mirrored the coloured of a dulled silver blade, worn and rich with history. The moons of neighbouring planets could be seen fading into the grey, almost cloaked by the fat clouds that patrolled the vast canvas of grey.

Plump drops of water fell at short intervals during the day yet as the sun had begun to descend to the horizon, the force of the rain and the frequency had both increased. The green forests of Yavin 4 soaked up the surplus of water like a dry sponge and soon the thirsty earth became a rich, fertile brown.

Cassian lay his head back against the railing around the edge of the balcony. His legs were stretched out onto the wet concrete and his warm skin erupted into goosebumps. He ignored the cold which settled into his bone and raised the cigarette to his chapped lips and sighed as the smoke reached his lungs and the nicotine hit his brain.

He held the lit cigarette between his teeth and leant his face back and felt the cool of the rain run over his skin. The thin grey shirt, one worn previously by Bodhi, was utterly soaked through and clung to his skin; as was the case with his khaki cargo pants. His wide, tired eyes stared at the sky and the clouds and his heart thudded when a starship made its way to main hangar on the other side of the base.

Every time Cassian heard the roar of a starship's engine he imagined that it was Bodhi and Kes with a story about why they were so late in returning, but after two weeks turned to three months, the captain knew better than to rely on hope.

"They'll kill you, you know, those cigarettes," a familiar voice said.

"Maybe that's the point," Cassian replied with a frown.

The figure walked out into the pale moonlight and stood above Cassian like a Coruscant skyscraper. Shara shook her head and crossed her arms.

"Damn it, Cassian. Why are you out here in just that? You'll get pneumonia or something." She had her hood pulled up against the rain.

Cassian ran a hand through his hair and stubbed out the cigarette under his foot. Shara outstretched her hand and he carefully pulled himself up off of the floor.

"This was his favourite place," Cassian answered wistfully, "Bodhi would make us sit out here in the evenings and watch the sunset."

A sympathetic look shadowed her eyes and she rubbed Cassian's bicep, "they could be still out there, they might still be alive, Cassian."

"Shara, you know as well as I do that the chances are slim. They've been gone for three months, last seen on Tatooine of all places. Do you really believe that they're coming back?" Cassian snapped.

Guilt hit him when he saw Shara's eyes widen and a few tears fell.

"Shara, I-"

"Yes I do know that the possibility is low but I'm not giving up hope! Look at yourself, you've given up, Cassian! You've given up on Bodhi and yourself. What would he think if he were here to see the state that you're in? Huh? What would he say if he knew that you were drinking, smoking and doing stupid things? He'd be disappointed in you, Cassian!" Shara's gaze burned into Cassian's thin cotton armour.

He balled his shirt into his fists and shouted back at his friend, "don't you dare talk about Bodhi! Don't you dare! I know that he'd hate the way I've fallen apart but Kes would be disappointed to see the way that you act too! You've been on high risk missions while carrying a child! The force forbid, but if you got hurt, it's not just you who we'd loose but we'd loose all that we have left of Kes too!"

"It's my body, Andor! I can do what I want! I am perfectly capable of running missions even if I am pregnant!" Shara replied.

"I didn't mean it like that," Cassian sighed and wiped the tears away that had mixed with the rain, "I-its just that you'll all that I have left of Kes. You are the last link to my best friend. You're like my sister, Shara, and the thought of you getting hurt kills me. If I loose you, I loose my best friend," Cassian tried to explain.

Shara nodded and pulled the shaking man into her arms. "It's okay, Cassian. I wouldn't do anything that I knew could kill me and the baby. And I believe that Kes and Bodhi are still alive, I feel it in my heart and I know that you feel it too."

Cassian wrapped his arms around Shara and he allowed himself to cry.

The rain continued to pour.

»«

Cassian had never spent much time with Luke but he found that whenever he was in close proximity to the young man, he felt a strange sense of calm within himself.

He had often listened to Bodhi ramble on about his interactions with the blonde and now he found himself seeking out the man whenever he found himself in need of company.

Luke was very much like Bodhi in a way: shy to the outside world but humorous and relaxed to those he knew, he was brave and selfless and very friendly yet a little naïve at times; although it was to be expected after such a sheltered childhood.

The men were under a tree in the forest that surrounded the Alliance base. Cassian held a book in his hand while Luke practiced with his radiant blue lightsaber.

The air was warm and hummed with the batting wings of the native insects and the sky was a soft shade of blue.

"I forgot to ask: what are you reading?" Luke looked at the man whom was leant against the grand tree trunk. Cassian's hair was pulled back behind his ears yet a few dark strands fell onto his face. He looked up, a little startled, and checked the front cover instinctively.

" _The Tale of Shrishti_ \- Bodhi used to tell me this story when I couldn't sleep."

Luke smiled sadly at the aching sadness that surrounded the rebel. "What's it about?"

Cassian placed the book on his lap, using a worn, scrap of material to keep his place, "it's about a goddess called Shrishti and her three children: the Sun, the Stars and the Moon, and how they created the universe. It's an old folk tale from Jedha."

Luke nodded. He went quiet before he stated without warning, "Bodhi is alive."

"What?" Said Cassian.

"Bodhi, your Bodhi, is alive. I can feel it. He's in pain but he's alive and so is Kes. The Force tells me that a streak of good luck is about to hit them and if I am correct, they should be home soon." Luke out away his lightsaber and sat next to Cassian who stared at him with wide eyes.

"How do you know?"

"I can feel the Force, Cassian. When someone I care about is in pain or dying, I can feel it. It's like a pull on a string. But I can only feel a little pull on Bodhi's string- so to speak- so I'm guessing that he is still alive even if he is in pain. The same is with Kes," Luke explained.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm pretty sure. Before he died, Obi-Wan tried his best to teach me the way of the Force but it seems that I have a natural sensitivity to it."

Cassian nodded and continued to read his book while Luke picked the grass and surrounding flowers and began to weave them using his skilled fingers. His blond hair glistened in the sun, even under the shadow of the foliage his hair still looked like molten gold.

"Uh- Cassian?" The younger man stuttered.

"Yeah, Luke?" He said without putting down his book.

The blonde man fiddled with the hem of his shirt and rubbed the back of his neck.

"How d-do you know that like s-someone?"

The question took Cassian by surprise. "Why'd you want to know?"

"I'll tell you after but first tell me: how do you know if you like someone. Like how did you know that you liked Bodhi?"

Cassian scratched at his growing beard and ruffled his hair while he thought.  
"Well everyone is different but for me, it was like a warm feeling in my chest. It was the feeling of a deep ache in my chest that would only be slightly relieved if I was around him and even then it didn't go away. I'd say that it's the feeling of dreading every moment away from them and just wishing that you could be forever by their side."

Luke nodded and looked at Cassian. He saw that the rebel's eyes had glazed over with a look of deep longing and pain. He felt so stupid, he had reminded Cassian of Bodhi's disappearance and the fact that his heart had remained shattered into a thousand jagged fragments. "Oh."

"Why are you asking, Luke? Does this have anything to do with Han?" Cassian said tiredly.

Luke's eyes shot open wide and was met by the small smirk on Cassian's face which was accompanied by a low chuckle. Luke stuttered over his words while he tried to speak.

"N-no... I mean yeah but no- I don't know. I can't explain really but-"

" _But_ what?"

"But I don't know how I feel about him. Like, I want to be with him but I don't feel _attracted_ to him. I've never felt attracted to anyone in that way. I wasn't sure if that's normal or not because I like the idea of being with Han but I know that I wouldn't want to kiss him o-or sleep with him. I just- I don't know. I guess that in the long run, it's better for me to feel this way as Jedi can't be in a relationship, but surely I should feel something," Luke said and rubbed his face with his hands to try and block himself from Cassian's watchful eyes. He saw no judgment in those dark eyes nor any confusion; all he saw was understanding and a calming sea of warmth.

Cassian moved a little closer and put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, offering him a reassuring shake which transformed into a half hug.

"It's perfectly okay, Luke, it truly is. Not everyone feels the same way about everyone. I like all genders, Bodhi only likes men, Jyn only likes women, Baze never liked anyone apart from Chirrut. So what if you don't like anyone? You're still you, Luke, and if one day you find that would like someone, I'll be happy for you and if you don't; I'll still be happy as long as you are happy. That's all that really matters, Luke Skywalker," Cassian spoke softly and honestly, his voice and words pulled Luke back from a self induced panic- he could see how it was so easy for Bodhi to fall in love with him.

"Thank you, Cassian. I don't deserve as good a friend as you," Luke smiled and leant deeper into Cassian's hug.

"It's okay, Luke, everyone deserves a friend and I'm happy to be yours."

»«

"Who do you work for?"  
The large, grotesque being slurred from between oozing black lips from which razor sharp teeth lurked behind. The monstrous creature reached out a dripping tentacle and ran it over Kes' dirty face.

In the corner of the cell was the slumped, bloodied body of Bodhi. A thick metal chain kept him from lying flat on the filthy floor as it bound the pilot's wrist to the wall. His hair had stuck to his forehead, with his blood and sweat being the glue that kept it on his skin. His chest rose every now and then with a shaky and unreliable breath.

_-Damn it, Bodhi! Don't die on me!_  
Kes pulled the other pilot closer towards him so he could check for Bodhi's heartbeat. He sighed when he felt it, even if it was extremely faint and irregular.  
-You gotta show me that you're breathing, buddy.

_As if in response to Kes, Bodhi's lips parted for a whisper of breath to escape. Kes looked up to the ceiling of the cell and silently thanked the Force and the Maker._

- _C'mon buddy, you gotta keep fighting._

"I told you, we work for a merchant in the cloud city. We came here just to look for some wares to take back," Kes mumbled with a bruised and cut lip. He stared at the creature defiantly with a confident look in his eyes.

"Huh, well you're friend over there looks a lot like that cargo pilot that the Empire want and are playing a lot for."

"The galaxy is a big place, man. There are obviously going to be a few people that look similar. That cargo pilot is Bodhi Rook, right? Well my colleague is called Bandhu Andor and the last I heard of Rook were the rumours that he died on Scarif," Kes argued.

The creature seemed to consider his words and turned to a small, rat looking thing behind him. He spoke in a twisted tongue, one of seemingly random hisses and clicks. Yet Kes understood.

_"Bring down that cloud city dweller!"_

The rat-like one replied, " _who, sir?"_

The larger creature's beady and glistening, orange eyes turned back to Kes and Bodhi and licked its lips with a vile, ink black tongue.

_"Bring down Lando Calrissian."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Luke and Baze are Asexual, Cassian is Pan, Bodhi is gay and Jyn is a lesbian. 
> 
> I imagine Kes and Shara to be bisexual and Han's sexuality will be revealed at a later date. 
> 
> Also let me know in the comments about what you think of this fic. Do you like it? Do you not? Let me know and thanks for reading!


	11. The Sun After Rain

 

When Bodhi opened his eyes, he was met with a landscape of merging colours and shapeless figures. Through his dazed eyes, the cell was a sea of yellows and browns and blacks.

He felt his body explode with pain. He felt as though he were a firework being ripped apart in the vast darkness of space, every piece of him being torn from his body and thrown across the galaxy. He hadn't felt like this since Scarif.

- _Cassian, I've told them. They know about the plans!  
Bodhi shouted down the com as he aimed his blaster at another stormtrooper. A burning sensation tore across his abdomen and he looked down to see the blood pouring from a blaster wound. -Kriff!_

 _-Bodhi, what's wrong?  
Cassian shouted back_.

- _Nothing.  
Bodhi spoke through gritted teeth into the comlink. -I'm okay, just find those plans!_

_He allowed himself a moment of rest. Sweat poured from his skin and he slid down the wall of Rogue One, a trail of blood following him._

_There was the sound of something hitting the metal loading bay of the cargo ship and Bodhi's eyes shot up to see a small, spherical object landing on the floor and rolling towards him. Running away from the ship was a storm trooper._

_In his fuzzy mind it clicked: it was a grenade._

_Before his mind could even think about what to do, his body leapt up and ran as fast as he could towards the grenade. His wound made him stoop which gave him a better chance at the grabbing the ticking explosive and hurling it out of the the ship and into the sand a few metres away._

_When the blast hit Bodhi, only a few seconds later, he felt the air be ripped from his lungs and the ground beneath his feet disappear. The world span like a war torn kaleidoscope and he landed with a heavy smack on the floor. Adrenaline coursed through his veins like a painkilling narcotic and the blood pounded in his ears like a war drum. All he could hear was the thudding of his heart and a high pitched ringing, sending his balance askew as he tried to raise himself from the floor._

_There was now a large, gaping hole in the side of the ship and the stench of burning stung his nose. There was no way he would be able to fly Rogue One in the shape that it was in. He could only pray that somewhere nearby was a moderately undamaged ship that may provide him with a chance of escape._

_As he slowly rose to his feet, he felt a searing pain across his abdomen and looked down to see a large piece of shrapnel deeply buried into his skin, blood was already starting to pour from the wound._

_He grit his teeth and pressed his hand to the wound to try an stem the flow as he stumbled out from the metal corpse of Rogue One and out into the fierce battle that raged around him like a hungry inferno._

_-Bodhi! You're alive?!  
Tonc shouted from behind the carcass if a downed imperial fighter jet. His mid section was oozing with blood and it looked as though one of his arms were missing._

_Bodhi nodded weakly and coughed harshly, he felt a dribbled of blood roll down his chin. He rushed over to his crew mate and sank to his knees in the blistering sand. He put his free hand onto Tonc's shoulder and shook him slightly. He tried his best to avert his eyes from his missing limb._

_-Tonc, we need to get outta here! I need to find a ship that can get as many people off this planet! Can you stand?_

_Tonc shook his head and felt his shoulders sag. The blackness of death was starting to creep into his vision and he felt his heart slowing. Upon the the wind he no longer heard the screams of his comrades nor the whistling of fighter jets and lasers, all he heard was the thudding of his heart and the sound of Bodhi's voice slowly growing quieter._

_Bodhi noticed his friend's deterioration and panic set in. He took Tonc's cheek in his palm and placed his forehead on the young man's. -Stay with me, Tonc. Stay awake._

_Tonc mumbled a final goodbye.  
-save them, Bodhi. Save..._

_His heart stopped and his body sagged. Bodhi let out a choked whisper and embraced his friend one last time._  
-Qad takun alquwaat maeak.  
He whispered in his native language, Jedhan.  
-May the Force be with you.

_He shakily stood once again and looked around at the war torn landscape, his hand was now slippery with his own blood. His eyes squinted in the harsh sunlight and he pulled down his goggles in a feeble attempt to lessen the sting of the sun. His eyes roamed the surrounding area for a flyable ship._

_-I'm not dying here today.  
He gritted his teeth and walked away from the dead body of his friends and towards what he hoped was a ship._

  
A dark blur in front of his eyes came into focus and into a hand. A hand bejewelled with rings and bangles gripped a narrow wrist. Well manicured nails tapped on his forehead and the figure crouched to look into Bodhi's bloodshot eyes.

"What's up with this kid?" A male's voice with an accent similar to Shara's, a voice that held an air of prestige and wealth.

"He's been shot and tortured. He's not going to be in the best state," Kes' voice. Bodhi felt safe, Kes was still with him. He opened mouth to speak but he found no voice to speak with.

He looked at the man instead, the stranger. He had a small moustache across his upper lip and dark skin, maybe a little darker than his own. A deep purple cape hung from around his shoulders, the same purple as his shirt that accompanied his black trousers. The man had dark, coffee coloured eyes that seemed kind yet still held a stern edge.

"W-who are you?" Bodhi whispered. The man's eyes shot up and he sent a quick smirk over his shoulder to Kes.

"I'm Lando Calrissian of the Cloud City and you're Bandhu Andor. I'm going to get you outta here," he whispered the last part.

"My name isn't Bandhu, it's Bo-"

"Shhhh, my friend," he drew his face closer to Bodhi's and hissed, "if you want to live, forget Bodhi Rook."

Bodhi nodded tensely and looked at Kes for support. "It's okay, Bandhu, Lando is gonna take us home."

Bodhi looked back at at Lando and tried to smile yet the raging fire in his side turned it into a grimace. "Thank you."

»«

"I want to speak to someone!" Lando called out to the guards after going over the plan with both Kes and Bodhi, who's condition only seemed to get worse and worse and the red patch of blood got larger and fresher.

The guard garbled back in the unintelligible language and Lando looked at Kes for a translation.

"It said that Jabba is busy at the races so you'll have to wait."

"Look pal," Lando turned and pointed a finger at the grotesque, armoured creature, "these are just merchants from the state that I run. Unless you wish to start a conflict, I suggest that you bring someone to me that I can speak to even if it's not Jabba!"

The creature spoke back and called over to the other guard who clicked his teeth and disappeared out of the basement.

"It said it'll send for one of the other members of the Crymorah, but next time it wishes that you use manners," Kes translated with a roll of his eyes.

"Damn Hutts! You give them a little power and it all goes to their ginormous, ugly heads," Lando tutted over his shoulder to Bodhi. The guard groaned and flicked its tongue in an odd, rotary motion.

"It said that's it's head is perfect shaped," Kes sniggered behind his hand. Lando rolled his eyes and turned to the guard, "of course, pal. Your head is wonderful." He added a wink.

The guard muttered something that even Kes couldn't translate and left the cell room, leaving the three men alone.

Lando ran his hands through his thick hair and unwound a long purple scarf from around his neck and crouched down next to Bodhi. He looked at the torn shirt which barely covered the pilot's thin body and sighed. Lando pulled at the buttons of Bodhi's jumpsuit. He was shocked to see the angry red skin around the blaster wound and the blood seeping from the wound. He noticed that there was a crude bandage made from a strip of Kes' clothing.

"I tried to slow the bleeding but I  couldn't do a lot," Kes murmured a little guiltily. Lando shook his head and threw a tight lipped smile at the man.

"You did well, if you had just left it; he would be in a much worse state and he probably wouldn't even be awake," Lando said as he tried his best to wrap the material around Bodhi's stomach without causing him too much pain.

"Thank... you," Bodhi croaked before hissing in pain as Lando tightened the material and wound it around his waist again. He grit his teeth and tried to ignore the wet around his eyes, he vision once again began to swim and Lando's figure turned back into a spectre of colour.

" _Bandhu_ , you gotta stay awake, okay?" Kes said, the panic obviously rising in his voice. He gripped his co-pilot's shoulder and tried to shake the man back to consciousness.

"Okay, _Nazir_ , I'll try."

Bodhi's dedication to the mission even when he was on the cusp of oblivion impressed the observing Lando who watched the rebels and waited for the guard's return with a stern poker face.

"I'll try,"

»«

_Bodhi's heart leapt when he saw a cargo ship with only minor damages hidden under the shade of trees on the next landing pad. All that stood between him and the ship were the warring rebel and imperial forces; lasers were being fired from all different directions and he was sure that he could hear the nearing sound of AT-ATs. He knew that he didn't have a lot of time to get to the ship before the battle worsened._

_He clutched his wounded side and spat out a blob of blood and saliva from his mouth before he started his attempt to get across the burning and blood soaked sand. He stumbled as though he were blind in a storm and tried to ignore the dead bodies of his fellow rebels and also tried to ignore the racing thoughts which fizzed in his mind like clusters of frazzled live wires._

_-C'mon. C'mon!  
He urged himself and swallowed a scream as his leg gave out and he fell to the ground. The blaster wound burned as though he were being poked by a white hot poker and he could still feel the jagged piece of shrapnel embedded in his side and slowly sinking further and further into his flesh. He knew that if he pulled it from his body, it would only bleed worse and make his situation more dangerous._

_With his ears still ringing and the smell of burnt hair and clothing, he pulled himself from the sand and ducked his head to escape the shot from a nearby blaster._

_He looked to the sky and mumbled a brief prayer as he reached the ship which luckily was in a workable condition. He swung open the side door and sped across the hull of the ship, trying to ignore the steady stream of blood which followed him into the cockpit._

_He felt slightly at home in the cargo ship, the same model as he had once upon a time flown which his old co-pilot, Bat-Sheva. Part of him wondered where they were now, maybe they were still working for the Empire, maybe they had gotten out like he had, maybe they- maybe they was dead. Bodhi hoped not, they had been his best friend at one point._

_He hissed in pain as he felt his skin tear a little while he switched on the cargo ship's controls._

_-'ana wahid mae alquti, alquwwat maeay ._   
_He repeated over and over in Jedhan.  
-I'm one with the Force, the Force is with me._

_He closed his eyes and pulled the main lever and heard the ship roar to life and rise from the ground. He furrowed his eyebrows and steered the ship over the heads of stormtroopers, whom seemed to be too stunned to shoot at the ship until a few moments had passed. Bodhi's eyes scanned the battle grounds in an attempt to find his crew._

_He knew that Tonc was dead and he had seen many of the others were too. His breath left his lungs as he saw two figures near the master switch, one wearing red armour and a stick wielding man in their arms. He flew towards the two and opened the doors to allow them on board,  but as he neared, he realised that Chirrut's face was stained with blood and he lay limp in Baze's arms._

_Baze shot up when the ship was within reach and pulled himself and Chirrut into the hull. Baze dared to pinch himself to make sure that he really was being rescued. He left the doors open and sat against the wall with his husband in his arms.  
-please Chirrut, don't leave me._

_Bodhi couldn't hear Baze's cries and continued to fly over the battle, picking up fighters as they flew and narrowly avoiding the blasts aimed at them._

_-where are you Cassian? Where are you Jyn?  
He whispered over and over._

_And there he saw them. On the beach, holding each other and staring out over the sparkling sea. Bodhi swooped down and hovered a little distance away from them as the trees surrounding their position would make landing impossible._

_The pair's gazes turned to the ship and they looked at each other in confusion._

_-Get in! We need to go!  
A rebel shouted as they jumped out of the ship and ran towards the two. They helped Jyn carry the barely conscious Cassian to the ship and to safety._

_Jyn jumped into the hull first and pulled up Cassian after her with the help of the rebel. She held her hand out to help the person up but she was stopped short as a storm trooper climbed over a dune and aimed a large ray gun at the ship. The rebel pulled out their gun and turned to Jyn, their short, corkscrew hair bounced in the wind._

_-go without me, I gotta kill this motherfucker!  
They urged Jyn and ran towards the stormtrooper without waiting for a reply._

_The rebel ran at the trooper and fired at it multiple times before being struck in the shoulder by a blast. They looked down to see that their arm had gone, the only reason that they didn't feel the pain was the fact that their blood was probably 100% adrenaline. Blood stained their teeth as they pulled out a grenade and smiled at the trooper whom was reloading its weapon. Using their teeth, as one of their arms was now lying a few metres away, they pulled the pin and ran towards the trooper, latching their hand to the trooper's armour and letting the explosion take their lives._

_Jyn watched all this as she screamed at Bodhi to fly._

_After hearing the grenade go off, he pulled the ship up and set to flying out of Scarif. Blood soaked is clothes and pilot's chair and he called weakly to one of the pilots in the cargo bay._

_-I can't keep doing this. Someone needs to take over.  
He felt his eyes slowly start to close but continued to aim the ship to where he knew the Alliance was waiting for them._

_He didn't know if they had received the plans, nor did he know why the Death Star appeared on the horizon._

_-Kriff, Rook! Let me take over!  
A female rebel jumped into the seat next to Bodhi and took control of the spacecraft._

_Bodhi felt the strength dissipate from his muscles and his head loll against his pilot's chair._

_-Hey, Rook. I need you to stay awake, okay? Just until we get to the Alliance ships.  
The blue skinned woman said sternly to Bodhi as she flew._

_-i-is Cassian o-okay?  
He mumbled as his vision began to blur and the stench of copper stung his nose more than it had before._

_-Captain Andor? Yes, he'll be okay._

_-He's s-safe?_

_-Yes, Rook, he's safe. You saved him. You saved all of us._

»«

A muscly and well built Twi'lek with green skin walked into the basement cells and strode over to where Lando stood next to Kes, whom was still chained to the wall.

The Twi'lek looked at Bodhi's unconscious body with distain and turned her attention back to the well dressed- although a little sweaty and dirty- Lando.

"My name is Anaïs Lundgar. I was told by a guard that you wished to speak to someone of authority. Why?" Her fluency of Basic was impeccable and her accent was one of class and wealth.

Lando coughed and corrected his posture so he seemed more powerful and high ranked. "My name is Lando Calrissian and I'm from the Cloud City. These men are just mere merchants from my city and I wish to have them released."

Twi'lek looked at the men suspiciously with her wide, amber eyes. "Well," she said, "for the right price, I may consider the freeing of The Hutt's prisoners."

Lando raised and eyebrow, "how much?"

"250,000 credits for that one," Lundgar pointed at Kes, "300,000 credits for that one," she motioned to the unconscious Bodhi. "Jabba seems very keen to keep that one

Kes pulled one Lando's sleeve to gain his attention. The dark skinned man bent so that the rebel could whisper in his ear, "just pay for him, if you have to. If you have to choose between him and me, always choose him."

Lando's eyes flittered from Kes' tired and weary face to the battered one of Bodhi's. The man seemed so much younger as he slept; too young to be involved in such a fight, too young to have seen the horrors that he had witnessed, too young to had felt the pain of torture and war wounds.

"Done!" Lando barked at the Twi'lek. "I need these men out of here as soon as possible, one of them is severely injured!"

Anaïs Lundgar nodded and called at a guard in what Lando guessed was Twi'leki.

"She's calling the guards over to unhook us from the wall," Kes said, relief plain in his voice.

"Baron Administrator Calrissian, I request that you pay me the credits now," Lundgar held out a small, square device and waited with steely eyes as Lando pulled out a small, thin, rectangular piece of metal and scanned it over the box.

"Thank you, Baron Administrator," the Twi'lek smirked as the guard came over to the prisoners and unbolted their shackles from the wall. Without the chains keeping him upright, Bodhi tipped forward and landed face first on the damp concrete.

He made a small whining sound when Lando and Kes took one arm each and raised him from the ground. "You're welcome, and tell Jabba never to treat my men like this again," he muttered. The Twi'lek raised her eyebrow and watched them with a patronising look in her eye.

"Yes, of course. I will now escort you to your ship," she said and walked up the stairs away from the basement, followed in tow by Lando, Kes and Bodhi.

To Kes, all the corridors and hallways seemed the same and with his eyes unaccustomed to light after spending so long in the dark, he found it rather hard to see once he had been lead outside and into the blistering sun that always watched Tatooine.

Holding Bodhi up was hard especially with what he suspected was a cracked or broken rib, yet he grit his teeth and kept his arm stable across the young pilot's back.

He smiled at the sight of Lando's ship, he was so close to home that he could almost taste the sweet air of Yavin 4 and the warm lips of Shara. But something felt wrong. Very wrong.

"So here is your ship, and I wish you all the best on your journey home, Baron Administrator. Although you may not get very far from this base," Lundgar said with a cunning smile upon her lips.

"Pardon?" Lando said halfway up the gangplank towards the cool interior of his ship.

"Well you are harbouring two fugitives of the Empire. Kes Dameron and Bodhi Rook, if I am not mistaken."

Kes looked at Lando uneasily and felt Bodhi stiffen up as he began to wake.

"Listen lady! These men are just merchants!"

"No they're not. The famed Lando Calrissian would not pay nearly 600,000 credits for any merchants. You do not fall me. However ''tis not i who warned the Empire of your plan, I have no business with either the Alliance nor the Empire; you can thank your guard for that," Lundgar ran her hands down her slim fitting, brown trousers.

"If I pay you, will you help us get out of Tatooine alive?" Lando kept his voice level even as he obviously begged. The Twi'lek nodded.

"One million," she said after a heartbeat. Lando looked struck but hastily agreed and pulled out the metal cuboid once again and watched his credits drain from his account.

"I'll report that you flew east but you must fly west and into the canyon. Once you get to a patch of trees, head up and hit hyperspace as fast as you can," she instructed.

Lando nodded, "okay,  thank you."

"My pleasure," she smirked once again before heading back into Jabba's compound.

The trio rushed into the spacecraft and Kes practically threw Bodhi into the nearest chair before sliding into the co-pilot seat next to Lando. The older then flicked a few switches and heavily breathed as they took off and turned into the canyon as they had been told.

"Do you think that that Twi'lek would've told them where we are going?" Kes asked Lando.

The man shook his head, "the Twi'lek are a proud race. Even one like Lundgar will still have the instinct to follow a deal or promise. They do not break oaths easily," he explained.

Kes nodded and waited for them to jump into hyperspace and to be on the way home

»«

- _that rebel. I didn't even know their name.  
Jyn sighed and slowly stroked Cassian's hair as he lay asleep on her shoulder._

_-oh they weren't a rebel, well not until recently. They were a cargo pilot like your friend, Rook.  
A nearby rebel confirmed._

_Jyn looked at them in confusion.  
-oh. Did you know their name?_

_The rebel shrugged a little and thought.  
-i think that they were called Bat-Sheva._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope that you enjoyed that chapter and I promise that more fluff will be on the way.
> 
> Also, in case you were wondering, I used romanised Arabic for the parts where Bodhi speaks Jedhan, and I used a translate app so sorry if anything is wrong. 
> 
> -H


	12. Ver Las Estrellas

 

"I meant to ask, how is it that you were at Jabba's place and why did you help us?" Kes asked Lando once he had put the ship into hyperspace autopilot and joined the two injured men in the lounge.

Bodhi was sat up, sitting on a chair next to a grand oak table while Kes did his best to treat the wounds with the first aid which he found on board the _Lady Luck_. The pilot's abdominal blaster wound had been covered by Kes with a small bacta patch which had slowly started to heal the wound and stem the bleeding, however the small size of the patch- the only size that the first aid offered- wouldn't be able to fully heal it or the internal wounds that Kes suspected that Bodhi had sustained during their time as prisoners.

Once he had finished, Kes moved to sit on one of the vast black couches while he wiped his cuts with antiseptic wipes and tried to not aggravate his broken ribs nor his sprained wrist.

The purple wearing man dropped to the couch opposite Kes and poured himself a glass of scotch from the large glass bottle that sat in the centre of the dark, expensive coffee table. The whole interior of the _Lady Luck_ screamed wealth and sophistication, Kes guessed that even the refresher would be elegantly furnished and decorated.

"I was in Tatooine to speak with the Hutts about trading deals with the Cloud City, when I heard that people from _my_ city had been taken prisoner, I had to check. That guard who called me didn't believe that you were from the city, and of course they were correct, however I recognised Bodhi from some wanted posters.

"I knew a guy and I heard rumours that he had joined the Rebellion, he was my best friend so I thought that if he was in the Rebellion I would be indirectly helping him," Lando explained and soft smile settled on his lips as he spoke of his friend.

Bodhi nodded, "what was his name?"

Lando seemed surprise to hear Bodhi speak in a voice that wasn't tired and agonised, it sounded very tired but he sounded a lot better than earlier.

Lando threw a lopsided smile at the pilot, "Han, Han Solo. Do you know him?"

Bodhi and Kes' eyebrows shot up and they looked at each other in surprise and laughed. Bodhi managed a small chuckle before the great pain in his chest made him stop and let out a small wheeze but batted away Kes' concern.

"I know Han! He's my friend- well he's a friend of a friend," Bodhi said excitedly, "he's always trying to get my friend Jyn to go out with him."

Kes noticed that Lando's smile faltered a little. The older man rubbed his face and coughed. "and she still hasn't fell for the _Solo charm_?" He said with a quirked eyebrow. Bodhi shook his head and had to stop himself from chuckling again.

"No, and she won't. He's wasting his time really, she only likes women."

Lando's eyes widened but he laughed, "I'm not surprised that Han hasn't got the message. He's always been like that.

"Anyway, now you know why I was there, I will ask you the same thing. Why were you in Jabba's cells?"

Kes hissed lightly in pain as he pulled off his shirt and set to cleaning the cuts on his chest and arms what had a small amount of blood beading from them. Lando tried not to stare at the man's muscular chest. Kes' chest was a little paler than the rest of his body and he had a small patch of dark hair across his pectorals as well as a thin train of hair running from his navel to the waistband of the clean trousers that Lando had lent him.

Most notable of his wounds was a large red gash sat just below his left rib cage and extended down his hip to his waist.

Kes looked up and he blushed under Lando's heavy gaze. However Bodhi shifted himself on the chair to try and ignore the obvious tension in the room. The pilot just wanted to roll his eyes at the two.

"We were on a mission, to gather intel on the Empire's involvements and ties in Tatooine- especially with the Hutts- but we were attacked by one of Jabba's goons and I was shot and then we were captured," Bodhi said, "I don't really remember a lot 'cause I got my head knocked around a bit but they tortured us to get information. They beat the shit out of me and cut me as they did with Kes, obviously."

Lando closed his eyes and his eyes furrowed together in anger. He hadn't known Bodhi or Kes for long but he still felt furious that the Hutts had so mercilessly beaten them, Bodhi especially seemed so quiet and well mannered that it was incomprehensible that someone would want to hurt him.

"I'm sorry," Lando said sadly and looked up to meet Bodhi's bruised face.

"It's not your fault, Lando. If it wasn't for you, we'd still be in that damn cell or dead," Kes said kindly and his lips turned up at the edges to make a small smile.

Lando nodded and coughed. "I wonder how big the reward will be for you two when I give you back to the Rebellion? I mean, two important pilots, that's surely a lot; especially as I spent nearly two million credits on your asses," the man's tone became playfully and he leant back into the soft cushions of the couch.

Kes laughed, as did Bodhi, and he pulled his shirt back over his head. "One: I'm not even a pilot- technically I'm a _pathfinder_. Two: I thought you rescued us out of the kindness of your heart?" Kes said with an overdramatic gasp.

"Sorry to disappoint, Dameron." Lando took a sip of his scotch and offered a glass to Kes and Bodhi. The latter politely declined but Kes accepted and as he took the fresh glass from the dark skinned man, he made great care to brush Lando's fingers with his own; causing a dark blush to bloom on his face. Bodhi rolled his eyes at the whole exchange.

Lando's heart sped up when he felt the warmth of the pilot's- no, the pathfinder's- skin. His throat tightened and he tried his best to ignore the burning gaze of Kes and the way that his eyes seemed to roam and undress him without any inhibitions. Surely a man this good looking wouldn't be single, he thought.

"So," Lando croaked, "do you either of you have anyone waiting for you back at the base?" He tried to make himself seem nonchalant but he knew that both of them saw straight through his façade.

"I have a boyfriend called Cassian," Bodhi answered with a small yet sad smile on his face. Lando nodded and look to Kes.

"I have a wife, Shara."

Lando's stomach dropped, "oh."

"-but, we have an agreement. We're so busy on missions that we don't get much time together, so while we're on missions, we can _be_ with other people if you get what I mean," Kes winked and revelled in Lando's shocked blush.

Bodhi suddenly felt like he was intruding and he really didn't want to see what was about to come next, "I'm just going to go now and sleep. I'll pilot the ship in a few hours once I've had my nap so please don't be too loud," he said with a quick wave and left the lounge before the pair could even reply. _Damn kids_ , he thought and chuckled soundlessly to himself.

Once Bodhi left the lounge, Lando stared at Kes. "So you're saying that you can sleep with anyone and your wife wouldn't mind?" He said nervously. Lando was shocked with himself, he was never so bashful or nervous. It wasn't love or anything, he was sure of that, but just the whole aura of Kes Dameron reduced him to acting like a blushing teen. The pathfinder was the right amount of cocky and charming to make anyone want him; how Bodhi managed to not feel this way about the man, Lando couldn't understand.

Kes nodded and slowly pushed himself off the couch and placed his empty glass upon the coffee table. "yes. I love Shara with my whole heart, and I always will, but she knows that sex is just a thing, it doesn't mean that I love her any less. She can be with who she wants,  and I can do the same," he said slowly and walked over to where Lando sat before crouching in front of him so he was eye level with the diplomat.

He leant forward until he could feel the radiating heat from Lando's skin and smell his spicy cologne. He ran his fingers lightly up the silky shirt that covered Lando's chest and onto the skin of his neck and then settled them on Lando's cheek and jaw.

The diplomat's Adam's apple bobbed nervously and he pulled Kes closer by his shirt and smashed his lips onto the Pathfinder's. Kes responded eagerly and pulled Lando's body to his. Lando gripped his hips and pulled Kes onto his lap. The pathfinder let out a sharp yelp of pain and Lando quickly pulled away. "I'm sorry! Did i hurt you?" He asked guiltily.

Kes wrapped his arm around the back of Lando's neck and pulled him back into a heated kiss. "I'm just a bit tender at the moment."

Lando repositioned his hands from Kes' hips to the small of his back, "okay," he mumbled into Kes' lips. He ran his fingers along the hem of the pathfinder's shirt and ran his fingers over the heated skin that was exposed, Kes gasped at Lando's cool touch.

"Can I?" The diplomat asked, referring to the shirt. Kes nodded and pulled away a little to make it easier for Lando to remove his shirt.

Lando greeted Kes' bare chest with fluttery kisses along the space between his pectorals and collarbone, leaving light bruises in his wake.

Suddenly Kes detached his lips from Lando's and stood up from his lap. The other man looked up in confusion, "what-"

"Let's go somewhere more comfortable," Kes answered before he could even finish his question. Lando nodded and joined the pathfinder as he made his way to an empty bunk room.

»«

Jyn pulled away from the lips of a pilot when her comm buzzed, "sorry," she mouthed and answered the comm. "Jyn here."

" _Jyn, we're needed in the tactics room. Baze, Kay-too, Luke and Shara have been called in as well."_

"Okay, Cassian. On my way."

She pulled her jacket back on and placed the comm inside the breast pocket. She kissed the pilot quickly and pulled away to tie up her shoes and adjust her clothing. "Sorry, hopefully this won't take too long."

The pilot smiled and kissed Jyn's hand, "okay beautiful, see you later."

Jyn blushed at her affection and left the room.

She sped down the corridors and by the time that she met Cassian outside of the tactics room, she was breathless. Cassian laughed at her and rolled his eyes.

"What's funny?" Jyn ran her hand through her hair to try and tame it into a reasonable state.

"I can see that you've been busy with that pilot again. What's her name? Neen?"

"Niamh- and what do you mean?"

Cassian didn't say anything and instead smirked and gestured to his neck. Jyn furrowed her eyebrows and pulled out a compact mirror from her jacket pocket and looked. And there on her neck, just below her right ear, was a rather prominent red love-bite. "Shit!" She hissed and pulled her hair from his high ponytail and tried to style it so the bruise couldn't be seen.

"Done?" Cassian said amused. Jyn shot him a dirty look but nodded. "Come on then, Erso."

The pair entered the tactics room and were met with stares from an array of people. The playfully looks that had been on Cassian and Jyn's face slowly slipped and looks of confusion and unease took its place.

In the room were the princess, Han, Baze, K-2SO, Luke, Shara, Chewbacca, R2-D2, C-3PO and Mon Mothma.

"Sorry we're late," Cassian said awkwardly and he and Jyn slipped into the empty seats around the large holo-table next to Shara and Baze. He ignored K-2SO's tutting.

"Doesn't matter. Okay so let's get down to the matter at hand," Mon Mothma placed her hands on the holo-table and pulled up a hologram of a female Twi'lek. "This is Anaïs Lundgar, a member of the Crymorah syndicate- which if you don't know is the group of crime families that control Tatooine and surrounding Outer Rim planets. Earlier today, a source on Tatooine told us that she was publicly executed by Imperial forces for aiding the escape of two of the Hutt's prisoners- who went by the names _Nazir Alstar_ and _Bandhu Andor_."

Cassian's eyebrows shot up and he sat straighter in his chair, paying close attention to the senator.

"We believe that these men were aided by Baron Administrator Lando Calrissian of the Cloud City and we think that these men are our own Kes Dameron and Bodhi Rook, who as you know have been presumed dead since two months ago," Mon Mothma allowed a moment for the news to sink in with the group of rebels.

"So what you are saying is that Kes and Bodhi are alive?" Shara asked nervously. Mon Mothma thought before answering.

"We cannot be 100% certain at this moment but there is a possibility that the two men are in fact Dameron and Rook. We do not know where they are headed or what condition they are in. We also do not know if Calrissian knows who they are and if he does, we don't know if he'll hand them over to the Empire," Mon Mothma said on a lower note.

Cassian sat frozen. He couldn't move. He felt as though his heart has stopped and his blood ran cold. He hadn't seen Bodhi in so long, the hologram of his face that Mon Mothma had pulled up seemed so different from the man that he knew and loved- it was his identification picture from his days as a cargo pilot for the Empire.

His longing for Bodhi twisted his heart in an iron grip and ripped it from his chest before stomping on it right in front of his face.

"Cassian? Are you okay?" Baze asked softly from beside him, the man put his hand on Cassian's shoulder lightly and tapped. Cassian looked at him with wide eyes and stood from his chair, it made a loud screech across the metal flooring.

Cassian could feel the tears welling in his eyes and he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold them in like he so often did.

"Senator, please. I-I need to go. I-"

"It's fine, Captain Andor, I understand that this has been a hard time for you," the Senator smiled sadly and the room watched as Cassian practically ran from the room before collapsing into tears once he had reached the sanctuary of his room. But it wasn't just his room, it was Bodhi's as well.

Everything around him was Bodhi's.

The bed where they slept together, where they made love, where they held each other to protect one another from the night terrors.

The sink where Bodhi would wash when he felt too self conscious to go into the communal refresher.

The wardrobe where his clothes still hung.

The small bedside table where the Rook family blade lay and the small box what held a treasure that Bodhi hadn't wanted him to see.

_-Bod, what's this?  
Cassian lifted the small box to show Bodhi as the young pilot walked in with another cardboard box from his room. Their commander had granted them permission to share a room and the boys jumped at the chance._

_-Ah, that's one of my deepest darkest secrets that you can't see until I come back from my mission, Cass.  
Bodhi laughed and winked at his boyfriend._

_Cassian frowned as he took the box of clothes out of Bodhi's arms and placed it at the foot of the wardrobe.  
-Oh come on, babe. Let me look!_

_-Sorry, love. Wait until I come back and I'll show you. In fact, even if it seems that I've died, make sure that you're 100% certain that I'm dead before you open it. Promise me, Cass._

_Cassian was struck by how sincere and serious Bodhi was about the small, worn box which Cassian held in his hand._

_Cassian nodded._

_-Of course, mí amor. I promise._

So many times Cassian had gone to open the box yet each time he remembered Bodhi's words and each time he'd convince himself that Luke was right and Bodhi was still alive.

Cassian slowly pattered towards the bedside table, pulling out both the Rook dagger and Bodhi's box. He glanced at the two before returning the box back to it's place in the top drawer.

The dagger was cold in his hands and he felt both relief and guilt that Bodhi decided not to take it with him on his mission. Guilt because it was a good luck charm and maybe if he had taken it, he wouldn't've gone missing; relief because he still had part of Bodhi with him.

Cassian ran the pads of his fingers over the inscribed runes and for the first time in a years, he prayed. He prayed not to the infinite amount of deities that existed in the galaxy, neither did he pray to the Force. It wasn't that he didn't believe in the latter, for he had seen its power first hand with Luke being a powerful wielder of the Force, but the Force had never helped him in times of need when he had prayed.

Instead he prayed to his father and mother, and the parents of Bodhi- the parents he'd never get to meet and thank for producing the love of his life.

" _Madre y Padre_ ," he whispered to the blade, "protect Bodhi. Guide him home to me. H-he is the only person I have and will ever love, he is mine and I-I am his. Please p-protect him, please let me see h-him again."

He wiped the falling tears from his eyes and sniffed. He clutched the dulled blade tighter and ignored the dull pain that it inflicted.

" _Alsyd_ Rook, _alssayida_ Rook," he murmured, using the little Jedhan he had acquired from Bodhi to show his respect,  "I p-pray that you protect your son as you did while you walked the worlds of the galaxy. I love B-Bodhi with my whole heart, I love him so much that I feel as though my heart may burst at any moment. I will never be d-deserving enough for the love of your son, no one in the galaxy could ever be good enough for him. He is my everything, my s-sun and my moon, h-he is my galaxy." Cassian choked as he sobbed. He gripped the dagger so hard he was sure that the inscriptions would mark his hand.

" _Trae mi amor de vuelta a mi_ ," he cried in Festian, "bring my love back to me."


	13. The Planets Align

 

Cassian opened the door to reveal a disheveled Jyn carrying what looked to be a flight helmet and wearing a bright orange flight suit.

"Is it time for you to go now?" Cassian asked although he already knew the answer. Jyn nodded and rubbed her hands together anxiously. Cassian sighed and embraced her tightly, firmly pulling her into his chest.

"I'm scared, Cassian. What if I don't make it back?" Jyn whispered, in this moment she sounded so childlike that it brought Cassian back to reality. The Erso girl was not a hardened war veteran with years of experience and knowledge, she was just twenty two year old girl whom had been dragged into the rebellion kicking and screaming.

He patted her head and rubbed her back to calm her erratic heartbeat. "It's going to be okay, Jyn. If you can survive Scarif and get their plans, you can survive this. You go out there and avenge your mother and father, Chirrut, Jedha and all those that have died at the hands of those monsters. Let them know that you aren't to be fucked with."

Jyn chuckled regretfully. "I only survived Scarif because of Bodhi. I'm going to be on my own now. No one will be able to save me this time if things go wrong. I-"

"No, Jyn, you survived Scarif because of yourself. And if it makes you feel any better, I heard that Skywalker will be joining you, and we both know how he can wield the force. If anything goes wrong- which it won't- he'll help you. Either he will or Shara will, or any of your squadron. You'll be okay, Jyn," Cassian squeezed her shoulder as she pulled away.

She looked at him gratefully and wiped the stray tear from her eye.

" _Lieutenant Erso, you are needed in Tactics Room 4-B for mission briefing." Her comm spoke._

"Erso here. I'm on my way," she replied.

Cassian quickly hugged Jyn one last time, trying desperately to push away the thought that it could be the last time he did so.

"See you soon, Cassian," she said and pulled away. She wore a slightly solemn look as she walked away from her friend and towards the tactics room.

"May the Force be with you!" He called after her, knowing that if Bodhi had been beside him, he would've said those words without a moments hesitation.

Cassian couldn't bear to look as Jyn walked away; further from him and closer to the battle to destroy the Death Star.

 

 

»«

It was quiet onboard the Lady Luck when Bodhi awakened. After months in the darkness of the Hutt's cells, his eyes were unaccustomed to the bright, artificial lighting that bathed the bunk room in a warm yet ferocious glow of off-white.

His eyes opened slowly and she used his arms to shield himself from the hot light. Even after the small amount of time that he had slept, he felt better than he had in months, he put it down to actually sleeping in a soft, warm bed in clean clothes and not on the filthy concrete of a cell while wearing blood soaked rags.

Once they had boarded the Lady Luck, Lando had provided them both with spare clothes which he had found in the large wardrobes in his room. While Kes was given a deep, rich blue shirt and grey trousers; Bodhi had opted for a plain black shirt and trousers of the same colour.

He lay staring at the ceiling, with only one thought on his mind: Cassian.

While in Tatooine, Bodhi hadn't allowed himself to think of the rebel in fear that it'd break his heart further with longing and homesickness. He had caught his tongue on many occasions trying to scream Cassian's name while his captors brought electrified batons down onto his skin, but instead he had forced himself to bite his tongue; even under torture, he wouldn't allow himself to break their covers.

For a brief moment, he allowed himself to think of his lover. He thought of the heat of Cassian's skin against his own; the long, artful fingers which would perfectly intertwine with his; the taste and texture of Cassian's sweet, peach lips that were a little thinner than his own but what held a breathtaking amount of strength. He wondered if Cassian had shaved at all or had grown his hair out; last time he saw him, Cassian had still been sporting his normal style of moustache and mid length hair.

_Bodhi ran his hands through Cassian's thick hair, pulling slightly and crafting the strands around his fingers. Cassian nuzzled his face further into Bodhi's neck and sighed, he loved it when they were like this. Their actions weren't fuelled by lust nor burning desire, their only driving force was the fact that when they lay tangled in each other's bodies, they felt truly at peace._

_Cassian trailed kisses along the jawline and neck of the younger man, allowing his teeth to barely scrape the dark skin but not hard enough to leave a mark. Bodhi's chest was all but vibrating with contentment._

_-Gods, I love you.  
Bodhi whispered as he lifted Cassian's chin so he could gaze into the captain's eyes with all the adoration he could muster._

_Cassian smiled hazily back and pressed his lips to Bodhi's, then gently pulling away so he could whisper to Bodhi,  
-And I love you_

A subtle quake of his bed dragged him from his daze and back into the present. He yawned and stretched before climbing out of his bed and slipping on his shoes and shirt- which he had thrown onto the floor a few hours previously when he got too warm to sleep.

He rubbed his eyes again as he walked out from his bunk and towards the cockpit. Lando had taken them on a brief tour of the ship once they were a safe distance away from Tatooine and had entered hyperspace. "It should take us a day or so to get to Yavin," he had said to the two.

"Hello, Bodhi," Kes greeted when Bodhi entered the cockpit. The pilot slid into the co-pilot's seat next to his friend and leant his head against the back of the chair.

Kes handed him a mug, "here, have my caf. You look like you need it."

Bodhi tiredly smiled and took the mug gratefully, he drank the liquid quickly and didn't flinch at the bitter drink's high temperature. He sat up straighter almost immediately, with the caffeine speeding through his body and seemingly setting every cell and organ alight. "Thanks man," he sighed in relief and put the now empty mug into the cup holder.

"No problem. Hey, can we swap seats? I need a nap but I want to be here in case anything happens," Kes asked and it suddenly became noticeable to Bodhi how rundown he looked.

His face was gaunt and bruised, much like his own. The facial hair that had grown seemed to cover most of the cuts and bruising along his jaw but Bodhi could still make out the discoloured skin. His hair was uneven on his shoulders and even after he had showered, it still looked dirty. He had lost a lot of weight since they were captured and his skin had visibly paled.

"Sure, Kes." Bodhi stood from his seat and stepped back to give the man more room to change seats. Once he had sat down, Bodhi got into the pilot's seat and rested his hands upon the steering controls. He felt calmer, being in the pilot's seat was where he belonged.

- _are you the pilot?_

_-I'm the pilot._

"Where's Lando?" Bodhi asked as he reached for the bottle of water which sat on console beside him. Kes opened his eyes a little and drowsily made a motion towards the exit of the cockpit.

"He's asleep, he'll probably be up in a bit," Kes added. Bodhi nodded.

Kes sat up straighter without warning and looked at Bodhi seriously, "it surprised me how chill you were about me and him sleeping together last night. Others wouldn't've been so unbothered by it. I'm guessing that you haven't slept with anyone other than Cassian, so why didn't you mind about the nature of mine and Shara's relationship?"

Bodhi choked on the water and quickly wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "I have no right to judge your relationship with Shara, what you do is your own thing. As long as Shara knows about it and doesn't mind, I couldn't care," Bodhi answered truthfully, "and it makes sense. Sex is just a thing and as you are both always on missions, it's only logical that you sleep with people who aren't each other as long as it means nothing and you're safe about it. I'm sure that many other rebels do it too."

Kes nodded and slouched again into the softness of the chair. "So would you be fine with it if Cassian slept with other people? If you don't mind me asking."

Bodhi seemed reluctant to answer but he trusted Kes with his life, I can trust him, he thought.

"As long as he talked to me about it and didn't go behind my back, and as long as it made him happy, I don't mind. He is his own person, and although I know that his heart and love is mine, his body isn't. Personally, I wouldn't want to be with any other person than him, just because, but that's just a personal choice, I wouldn't expect everyone to be the same as me."

His co-pilot nodded and reached forward to sleepily slap his shoulder. "You're a good man, Rook."

Bodhi chuckled and pushed Kes playfully back into the chair, "you're not too bad yourself, Dameron."

»«

Bodhi was playing with the ship's comm frequencies when he managed to pick up a station. He found it odd that frequencies would be able to reach them while they were in hyperspace yet he guessed that Lando had enough money to create a modification to get around that problem.

_"...in the wake of the execution of gang leader Anaïs Lundgar, who was found guilty of helping prisoners of the Hutts escape punishment, it appears as though Imperial intervention has once again disappeared from Tatooine minus a few skirmishes with the criminal underworld. The presence of stormtroopers can however be felt around the pod racing tracks where newcomer Julk'vi will be racing on..."_

Bodhi reached across and hit Kes' shoulder with a large amount of force. The pathfinder woke up in a flash and looked at Bodhi in confusion. "What's wrong? Are there-"

"What was the name of that Twi'lek who helped us escape?" He interrupted. Kes looked at him strangely but answered.

"Anaïs Ludgar? Or something like that. No! Lundgar, Anaïs Lundgar. Why are you asking?"

"Shit!" Bodhi hissed and slapped his hand on the flight console.

"What's wrong, Bodhi? What's going on?" Kes' voice went up in both volume and pitch.   
  
Bodhi shook his head is disbelief. "The Empire, they executed Lundgar for helping us."

"Fuck, do they know who are?" Kes' demeanour became more alert.

"They must do. The Empire don't just execute people for allowing merchant prisoners to escape, do they?" Bodhi steadied his hands on the chair and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and Kes down. "It's gonna be okay. As long as we stay in hyperspace until we get to Yavin, it'll be okay. I'm just worried about Lando, if they catch him now, who knows what they'll do to him."

"Who'll do what to me?" A bright voice chirped as the cockpit door shut. Both Kes and Bodhi jumped in their skin and swore, "shit, Lando!"

Lando threw his head back with a loud and hearty laugh. He slapped his hands of the backs of their chairs and looked down at the two, the question still lay on his lips. "What were you saying about me?"

Bodhi looked to Kes to explain and he turned his attention back to the control panel, slightly adjusting the vitals of the ship.

Kes coughed and rubbed his forehead before explaining, "The Empire have executed Anaïs Lundgar, the Twi'lek that helped us; and we believe that the Empire know our real identities, or at least one of ours. Which means that they know that you've aided the escape of two rebels from the Imperial Forces, and they'll probably put a bounty on your head as well as ours."

Lando looked startled but his face quickly changed into a lake of placidity. He exhaled loudly and leant against one of the walls, splaying his hands against the cold material to keep his balance. "Well this isn't exactly groundbreaking news, I knew that there'd be consequences for me but I thought that it'd take them longer to figure it out. Oh well, not much we can do now. How long until we reach Yavin?"

Bodhi checked the navigation screen and called over his shoulder, "a few hours at most. Thank the Maker, I just want to be home know."

Kes smiled at Bodhi's referral to Yavin IV as home. "Same Bodhi, I just want to be with Shara. I bet that she has a big belly know, when we left she was as flat as a pancake." He smiled dopily and his eyes lit up with hopefulness.

Bodhi slapped his shoulder in a brotherly fashion.

"Your wife is having a baby? Congrats man. You're gonna be a great dad." Lando smiled sincerely.

"Thanks!" Kes replied.

_-Uh, Kes. I need to talk to you.  
Shara rubbed her hands together nervously and moved away from him a little, avoiding Kes' eyes._

_The pathfinder looked at his wife in curiosity and confusion. Shara was always such a confident and outgoing woman, it was one the many reasons why he loved her so much._

_He shifted closer towards her in the double bed they shared and kissed down her spine. He wrapped his arms around her bare stomach and placed his head on her shoulder. Her heart thudded beneath his touch._

_-What's wrong baby?  
He said gently as he played with her hair, manipulating the dark brown ringlets around his fingers. He didn't notice her slight finch at the pet name._

_-I...i... I'm pregnant, Kes.  
She answered so quietly that she suspected that he didn't even hear her. The two of them fell into silence and Shara shut her eyes to try and ignore Kes' unresponsiveness._

_-I understand if you don't-_

_-You're having a baby? My baby?  
He said stunned._

_She nodded and turned to face him, where she was met with a blinding smile._

_-That's... that's amazing, Shara. Our baby, our beautiful baby.  
He whispered and kissed with wife with enough fire to put the suns to shame. Shara gasped and pulled him closer to her, wrapping herself around his partially naked body. She wove her hand into his greying hair while the other ran along his jaw._

_-so I'm guessing that you're happy then?  
She giggled as she pulled away for air. Kes nodded eagerly._

_-of course I am! You didn't think that i wouldn't want this, did you?_

_Shara shifted a little and whispered hesitantly.  
-I wasn't sure if you'd want a baby right now. I mean both of us are so busy and with the missions and everything. I thought that maybe you wouldn't want this... or me._

_Kes sighed sadly and kissed Shara softly, brushing her lips while trying to convey the pure love which he held for her.  
-yes we might be busy but we have my folks to help and our friends. And I could never not want you. You're my stunning, intelligent, courageous goddess. You're my queen, Shara._

_Shara laughed loudly and embraced her husband.  
-Jheeze Kes, you're so damn corny! Don't tell me you're going all mushy on me. You spend too much time with Cassian._

_-What?_  
Kes raised his eyebrows and faked a hurt look.  
-can't I tell my amazing wife how much I love her after she tells me that she is carrying my child?

_-sure, Dameron. You can tell me how beautiful I am when I have a huge, round belly and I'm throwing up on you._

_-you'll always be beautiful, my love. Always..._

»«

A tsunami of relief and exhilaration swept over the three men on board the Lady Luck as they left hyperspace and the lush, green moon Yavin IV lay beneath them.

The huge pressure that had built up on the rebels' shoulders suddenly lifted as Bodhi turned off the autopilot and switched to manual controls. He nudged Kes whom had slipped into a light nap and called to Lando to strap in while he orchestrated their decent to the base. Kes sat up straight away and pulled up his co-pilot chair closer towards the control pad. He flicked up some switches that slowed down the rate at which they which they were heading towards the atmosphere.

What shocked them however was the large amount of debris that surrounded the base planet. large chunks of metal and burnt out TIE-Fighters, X-Wings and Y-wings littered the vast wasteland. Bodhi strained hard as he attempted to get through the debris field, barely missing a large chunk of a burnt out TIE-fighter. The place looked to be the after remains of a large battle, Bodhi and Kes could only hope that the rebel alliance was still on Yavin.

"Comm the control tower, I really don't feel like being shot out of the sky," Bodhi ordered and Kes pressed the comm button on the dash board.

" _Lady Luck_ to control tower, come in. I repeat, _Lady Luck_ to Control tower," Kes spoke into the comm loudly and clearly. His accent slipped from his soft, natural tone to the high basic one that was used most commonly by officials.

_"Control tower to Lady Luck. State your intentions"_

"We wish to land. On board we have Bodhi Rook, Lando Calrissian and myself, Kes Dameron."

_"Kriff, Dameron. Is that really you? It's me Alikau, holy shit, man. Yeah land on the main hangar, I'll alert the generals of your arrival. Nice to talk to you again, my friend."_

"Thanks, Alikau! It's nice to be back." Kes clicked off the comm and returned to his job of helping Bodhi land.

Bodhi smoothed his hair back as he made the decent into Yavini airspace. His jaw was set and he pulled on the steering controls until the yacht fell closer towards the ground, slowly levelling out when the green blur of nature became individual trees to the naked eye.

"Prepare for landing."

Kes beamed at Bodhi and set the gears for landing. "Hello there Yavin. Long time, no see!"

»«

"Senator! Senator! The ship which rescued Dameron and Rook is heading into the base!" A young looking Zabraki soldier ran into the briefing room and instantly blushed a bright vermillion when he saw that the room was packed with other rebels.

The elder woman turned and faced him sternly, "soldier, what did you just say?"

"Dameron and Rook are about to land their ship in the hangar! They just commed me for approval to land."

"And you gave it too them? How did you know that it was actually Dameron and Rook?"

Cenzig Alikau held his hands tight to his chest to keep them from shaking. He took a deep breath. "Ma'am, I have known Dameron since the Academy and I have worked with him multiple times. Even over a comm, I could recognise his voice."

The room which had previously sat in stunned silence, now spoke up in a loud babble. "Are you completely sure?" A voice stood out against the rest of the sea of voices. The rebels turned to face the speaker and a sad smile of pity upturned their lips when they saw it was Cassian with Shara Bey sitting beside him.

Alikau nodded again, "aye captain, I'm completely sure."

A knot caught in his throat and he looked at Shara in shock which she mirrored back simultaneously. The pair rushed from the room despite Mon Mothma's protests. They turned to Alikau whom had left the room with them.

"What's your name?" Shara gripped the Zabraki with an iron grip.

"C-Cenzig Alikau, Lieutenant," he stumbled over his words.

"Okay Alikau, where are they going to land?" Shara loosed her grip on the man. Cassian watched with wild and impatient eyes.

"Main hangar, they should be there soon or now," the small man said excitedly. Shara sprinted off and Cassian quickly followed.

"Thanks Alikau!" He shouted over his shoulders.

"No problem, Captain Andor!"

The pair ran until their legs burned and their chest ached yet they still didn't stop as they headed across the Alliance base. From where the briefing room was, the main hangar was a good fifteen minute walk however at their pace, they made in just over five.

They heard the rattle of a ship's engine before they saw it. It wasn't the normal gruff heaving of a rebel star fighter; no, this was an almost silky sound. The sliding of metallic doors sent them spurring onwards until they had crashed through the hangar doors and stumbled into the hangar.

A crowd had formed around the large luxury yacht in awe and amongst the many different faces, Cassian could recognise his friends.

Cassian and Shara wove through the sea of rebels until they were at the front of the pack, watching the large doors whir and waiting for them to reveal the passengers.

Next to him, he heard Shara mumbled a prayer in her native language and cross her fingers discreetly.

The doors shook and slowly opened to reveal three figures, all masked under the shadow of the hangar. One stood tall and proud, one seemed to be a little taller but leant a little to one side- a sure sign of an injury- and the smallest stooped over what Cassian guessed was a stomach injury of some kind.

The mid-height man walked out into the light first. He had a face that Cassian had seen before yet he couldn't place his name. Behind him he heard Han take in a deep breath.

His friend hesitantly moved around a small blue haired woman and into the empty semicircle in front of the ship.

"Lando? Is that really you?" Han said with a thick voice.

The black man turned immediately towards Han and ran his eyes over him, then running towards the smuggler. "Fuck, Han," he panted before he wrapped his arms around the taller man. Their lips collided in a desperate and passionate flurry, clutching each other as though it were their farewell and not their greeting kiss.

The two men left in the ship followed Lando's steps and walked out onto the Tarmac. Although heavily bruised and bearded, Cassian easily recognised the tall man as Kes. Shara reacted as Han had moments earlier and ran towards her husband.

And then Cassian saw the smaller man who had hidden himself behind Kes until that point.

His face was swollen, bruised and cut and his gait was one of a broken man. He stumbled as he walked and looked weak enough that one strong gust of wind would send him flying.

But his eyes were the same, the same brightness, the same intelligence, the same hopeful look that fought against the obvious fatigue that plagued him.

Cassian ran desperately towards the man.

Towards his Bodhi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Bodhi and Cassian are back together!
> 
> Also I love Kes and Shara so much.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that is still reading this story, it really means a lot to me.
> 
> -H


	14. A Thousand Times Goodnight

 

The galaxy is a mysterious place. A place where one may find terror and danger on every corner, but also a place where one may find love and prosperity where they least expect it.

In the history books, they refer to 1ABY they recount of political instability after a battle to destroy the Death Star. They tell stories of Jedi and Sith, of storm troopers and rebels, of life and death. Yet they never speak of the truth of 1ABY, the year that lost loves returned home.

»«

Hungry hands gripped at clothes and ran over burning skin.

"B-Bodhi!" Cassian shouted and pulled a stunned Bodhi into his arms. The younger man clutched the shirt on Cassian's back and pulled him closer, need driving their bodies together in desperation.

"Cass-Cassian!" Bodhi wept and allowed the tears to slip from his eyes. He clung to Cassian with all him might, basking in the rebel's warmth, his familiar scent of rain and smoke, his thudding heart beat.

Under his hands, Cassian realised how much the mission had taken its toll on his lover. He hadn't been exactly big before he left but now Bodhi felt dangerously small; his bones were prominent through his shirt and his skin seemed paler. But in that moment, Cassian was just happy to have Bodhi back where he belonged; in his arms.

The din of the hangar dissipated to nothing as if their love had encapsulated the pair in their own impenetrable bubble.

Bodhi looked up at Cassian with his large, round eyes. The rebel ran his hands up Bodhi's back and neck before carefully holding his cheeks and jaw. He felt so small in his hands.

Cassian ignored the tears rolling down his face and brought his forehead to Bodhi's, breathing him in. "You're home..." he sighed, lips ghosting over the pilot's.

Bodhi nodded gently, "I'm home," he whispered.

Bodhi pressed his lips to Cassian's, savouring everything about the rebel that he'd missed for the previous months. A groan caught in his throat as Cassian responded immediately and opened Bodhi's lips with his own before slipping his tongue into the younger man's mouth. They didn't need to fight for control, both knew the perfect rhythm of give and take.

Bodhi wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist and drew small circular patterns on the small of his back, almost running his fingers along the hem of Cassian's shirt and onto his skin. But Bodhi knew that what would follow would better in the privacy of their shared bedroom.

"I love you so much, Cassian," Bodhi said earnestly when they broke away from air, "' _ahabak jiddaan, habibi._ "

Goosebumps erupted over Cassian's skin and he blushed fiercely as Bodhi spoke in his native tongue. He ran his hands over the piece of string which Bodhi had pulled his hair up with, he pulled it loose and revelled in the ebony mane that flowed to his boyfriend's shoulders; it had grown much longer since the last time they had seen each other.

" _Te amo, mi amor_ ," he whispered back in Festian, "I love you, my darling."

»«

The air was heavy with panting and sweat. Cassian brought his lips to Bodhi's once more before rolling off of his boyfriend and onto the empty side of the bed.

Their hearts seemed to thud as one and they smiled drowsily at each other, basking in one another's body heat.

Cassian reached to the floor to pick up an item of clothing that had been hastily removed and quickly wiped off the mess on his and Bodhi's stomachs.

He threw the dirty shirt back to the floor and pulled Bodhi into the side of his body.

"I think that that was the best sex we've ever had," Bodhi chuckled into Cassian's neck and placed a kiss on his collarbone.

Cassian's chest vibrated as he laughed and twiddled with Bodhi's raven mane. "Hmmm, maybe. But I think that time on the balcony was pretty damn good," Cassian bopped his boyfriend's nose with his finger and his heart leapt when he saw Bodhi's eyes crinkle as he grinned.

"Yeah that was amazing," Bodhi agreed.

"Please don't leave me like that again, I think that I'd explode if I have to go another four months without this," Cassian joked yet he knew that his words were true.

"Oh Cassian, I thought that you actually missed me. Now I see that you only want me for my exquisite body," Bodhi sarcastically retorted and gestured to his bruised and scarred skin.

When they had landed on the base hangar and had finished reuniting with their families; Bodhi, Kes and Lando had been rushed to the medbay to have a physical assessment.

Lando had been released almost immediately as he had sustained no injuries bar a bruise he had received from an over cautious guard.

Kes spent a little bit longer in the medbay and had been patched up with multiple bacta patches. He had a few broken ribs and multiple unhealed cuts.

_The interrogator spoke in a garbled language and cackled as he caused Kes to convulse under a high voltage baton. The pathfinder bit his lip hard enough to draw blood but he was still unable to quell his screams._

_-stop it! Stop it!_   
_Bodhi shouted and pulled at his shackles, ignoring the bite of the constricting metal.  
-we don't understand what you're saying!_

_The torturer barked what seemed to be an order at a nearby guard. The guard marched to Bodhi and backhanded him across his face, resulting in an audible crack as the guard's bronze studded ring connected with the pilot's nose._

_Kes wailed as the baton was brought down again upon his skin and the sharp pain that came with the slashing of a serrated knife along his side._

_-Please stop.  
Kes pleaded to deaf ears._

  
Bodhi's injuries had arguably been the worst of the three. He had had a blaster wound that had badly healed, one dating back to when they were first abducted. He had sustained another during his time in the cell as well. Like Kes, he had numerous broken bones and cuts from the interrogation sessions.

The medics had applied many bacta patches to his body and sent him back to Cassian with an array of painkillers.

Cassian smiled sadly and pulled Bodhi up so he could easily look into his boyfriend's eyes.

"Bodhi, you're the most beautiful man I've ever known. I told you when I first kissed you and I'll tell you every day of our lives: I love you and your scars so damn much. The fact that you have all these injuries and still made it back to me just makes me love you so much more."

"You're a soppy, cheesy, old fool. You know that right?" Bodhi said with a tearful smile.

"Only for you, _mí amor_. I have to make everyone think that I'm a tough, hard rebel captain; I don't have to be like that when I'm with you," Cassian stroked his thumb along Bodhi's cheek.

"Well.... sometimes you have to be hard- if you get what I mean..." Bodhi winked suggestively.

"Really, Bodhi? I'm trying to be romantic and you're making dick jokes. I may run off and get drunk with Han and Chewy," Cassian narrowed his eyes and went to climb out of the bed. Bodhi wrapped his hand around around Cassian's wrist and brought him back.

"I'm sorry, please carry on being romantic. I've missed everything about you, even your cheesiness. The thought of you was the only thing that got me through that hell, honestly Cass. I'm so happy to be back here with you," Bodhi whispered the end softly.

Cassian sat up on his knees and ran his eyes over Bodhi's bare skin, his gaze wandering over the discoloured patches of skin and the healing wounds. His blood boiled with anger, how dare someone hurt _his_ Bodhi? How dare they inflict pain on such a kind hearted and courageous man? He wanted to jump on a starfighter and kill every Hutt and gangster on Tatooine.

But the look in Bodhi's eyes extinguished the fire of rage until it simmered to the deepest depths of his stomach and mind. He focused all his attention on the man in front of him, the man who needed his help and not his outrage.

His wandering fingers travelled over his boyfriend's heated skin, still glowing from their earlier activities.

"I'm so happy that you're back with me. I know that soon one of us will be sent out on a mission again- even with the Death Star destroyed, the Empire will return- I just want to stay in this moment. Just you and I, in this bed, in this room, here on Yavin. I wish we could just forget the galaxy and be together. Just as Bodhi and Cassian, not defector pilot and rebellion captain, just men," he confessed and kissed Bodhi tenderly, taking care not to aggravate the small cut on his boyfriend's lip.

"Maybe one day we'll be able to do that. There was a time before the Empire and Sith, there'll be a time after them. When this is done, we can be just us. Just Cassian and Bodhi," Bodhi mumbled onto his lover's lips.

"I like the sound of that, Bodhi."

"As do I."

»«

The sun shone bright against the vast blue, oceanic sky that overlooked Yavin IV. The small creatures that flew about the planet sung their sweet, summer songs and the larger ones, that roamed the ground, roared nightly growls.

The Rebellion base upon Yavin IV was now in the process of finding a new hospitable planet where they could establish a new centre point of their operations.

Rebels scurried about the base while captains and commanders barked orders.

Han, Lando, Luke and Chewbacca were hanging around in the mess room, arguing about their favourite starships and telling old stories.

Leia, Jyn and Baze discussed tactics and strategies.

K-2SO, C-3PO and R2-D2 zipped around the base, both Kaytoo and Threepio moaning and grumbling over Artoo's behaviour.

And Cassian, Kes and Shara sat in the hangar, Kes speaking to the pair while they tinkered with their ships.

Bodhi sat in an office, across the table from Dr. Andromeda Solen.

"So Bodhi, how are you feeling today? Solen smiled politely at the young man and tapped her pen upon her desk.

Bodhi sat up straight and adjusted the straps on his goggles- a habit that he still hadn't broken.

He had had a few sessions with Dr Solen since his return from Tatooine and he was slowly but surely making progress once again.

"I'm good, thank you. And yourself?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking, Bodhi. I see that your manners are still impeccable," she wrote a quick note in Bodhi's file.

"Yes, ma'am. My mother used teach my sister and I to be polite as possible," he laughed airily.

"She'd be very proud of you, Bodhi, especially with how far you have come. How have the nightmares been?"

Bodhi took a deep breath to brace himself. "I'm not going to lie, they've been pretty bad. I'll wake up at night screaming with pictures of Tatooine, Scarif and Jedha behind my eyes. I feel all the pain and hear all the screaming and sometimes it gets too much- but I have Cassian now. I'm not alone to deal with my troubles and I believe that that has helped me a lot."

He smiled as he spoke of Cassian.

Solen was touched by the warmth and adoration in which Bodhi spoke of his boyfriend. It was no secret across the base that the two were together but it still surprised her to hear of the softer, kinder side of the captain. Most of the times that she had spoken to Cassian, he had been very rigid and cold- a complete different man from the Cassian of Bodhi's stories.

She knew for certain though that her patient was not lying however as on one occasion, she had seen a brief glimpse of the emotional side of Cassian Andor.

It had been after Bodhi had been admitted to the medbay after his last suicide attempt. One of the med staff had advised Solen to tell the core Rogue One team of Bodhi's state individually.

She had decided to tell Jyn first, a strong woman like herself who could then advise her on how to tackle the subject with the Captain Andor. Then she had found Cassian in his room an hour or so later, enjoying a rare moment of freedom.

- _Hello there, Captain Andor?_

_-Yes, Doctor. That is me. What can I do for you?  
His voice was hard but polite, always polite._

_She sighed and motioned towards both his chair and bed.  
-Captain, I think it would be best for you to sit down._

_Cassian arched an eyebrow and stood steadfast. Solen doubted that he'd actually follow her advice._

_-I don't mean to be rude but I'm very busy right now. Is this matter urgent?  
He asked._

_Solen nodded._

_-I regret to inform you but earlier this afternoon, your friend Bodhi Rook overdosed on a cocktail of pills and alcohol. He-_

_-Wait! Is this a joke?! Where is he? Is he okay?  
A look of shock and horror was painted on his face. All colour had drained from his face and he stepped closer to Solen. He pulled at his hair in anxiousness._

_-Mr Rook is in a critical condition but we are positively sure that he will survive. As you know, this is not his first attempt at taking his own life but this is the closest he has gotten to it._

_-Fuck! Can I see him? I really need to see him. He can't be alone- he can't. He's my friend, I need to be with him. Where is he, doctor?  
Cassian's voice became thick with tears and desperation and Solen had to do her best to not show her surprise at his emotional state._

_-He is in the medbay receiving treatment. You can go down there but I'm not sure if they'll let you in just yet. I'd recommend that you go and speak to Lieutenant Erso, I have already told her of the news and I believe that she is still in her room._

_Cassian nodded sadly.  
-Thank you, doctor. And one question?_

_-Yes, Captain Andor?_

_-He tried to kill himself because of Scarif and Chirrut, didn't he?_

_Andromeda Solen fell quiet but forced herself to answer._

_-I am not 100% sure but I believe that that is a key factor, Captain Andor._

"I'm happy to hear that you're doing better, Bodhi. Now our next session is in three weeks I believe so my task for you to complete by then is this: I want you to keep a journal and every night, before you sleep, I'd like you to write about what made you happy on that day. Can you do that?"  
She slid a small, silver coloured notebook from a drawer and held it out.

"Yes ma'am, I can do that."  
Bodhi nodded and took the book.

  
»«

 _Day 14_  
 _Today's 'what made me happy':_  
• Lando and Han invited me to play a game of chess with them and I won.  
• K-2 said that they appreciated my help while mending Rogue Two.  
• Shara let me feel the baby kick in her stomach.  
• Baze spoke to me in Jedhan.  
• It was hot today.  
• Jyn sent me a holo from Naboo to let me know that she's okay.  
• Cassian put my hair up in a Maj'kow braid.  
• Cassian brought me flowers.  
• Cassian made me feel better about my scars.  
• Cassian held my hand.  
• Cassian said that he loved me.

»«

Cassian Andor was never nervous. He never felt the tight coil of anxiousness in his stomach when approaching a task. He never had a billion thoughts spinning through his head at once, all screaming for attention.

Until that moment.

He and Bodhi were sitting opposite each other on their bed with a small box on the covers between them. Bodhi had been sitting with the box in his hands when Cassian walked in from a meeting.

"Did you open this while I was away?" Bodhi asked.

Cassian shook his head, "you said to only open it when I was sure that you were dead, and I knew that you were alive."

Bodhi smiled and picked up the box once again, "good".

He took a deep breath and Cassian watched in with wide eyes, his body burning with anticipation.

"This is the last thing I have of my father. The dagger comes from my mother's side but this is my father's. He gave it to me just before he died.

"I wore it around my neck for some time for good luck and it really helped. But then I met you and started to fall for you, and I knew that if I died, I needed it to be with you and not on my dead body. So I hid it in this box until I was ready for this moment."

He swallowed and open the box, then turning it as so that Cassian could see its contents.

A silver ring, worn and slightly tarnished with age but nonetheless still beautiful. A small inscription ran along the inside of the band of metal in a script that Cassian couldn't understand.

"It says, _'sa'ahbik lil'abad_ ' or 'I'll love you forever'," Bodhi explained slowly and took the ring from the box. Cassian watched him with curious eyes.

"And that's what I want to do. I want to love you forever Cass. So, there's a Jedhan tradition where the ring owner asks their lover a question: _hal satahabuni ilabd_? Or as it is said in basic: will you love me forever? So will you, Cassian Andor? Will you love me forever and do me the greatest honour of being your husband? " Bodhi extended the ring to Cassian and waited with bated breath.

Cassian's eyes widened further in shock and stared at Bodhi. The dark skinned man looked at him with a quiet fear in his eyes. Cassian's gaze flickered from the ring to Bodhi and back to the ring again. This was the last piece of his father that Bodhi had left and he was willing to give it to Cassian. It hit Cassian's heart like a blaster shot.

After a few moments of silence, Cassian found his voice. "Fuck, Bodhi. Of course I'll love you forever and be your husband, I can think of no bigger honour than that. You're my everything Bodhi. You're my all," Cassian leapt forward from his sitting position and launched himself at his fiancé, capturing his lips in a kiss of pure caring and heart bursting love.

"Cassian, You make me the happiest man in the galaxy," Bodhi replied as he slipped the ring onto Cassian's finger. It was almost a perfect fit, maybe a little too big but not too much that it'd cause an issue or fall off.

"Bodhi, you _are_ my galaxy," Cassian said with another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Bodhi and Cassian are engaged!!!!
> 
> This is my last chapter of the story however I will be posting an epilogue soon!
> 
> Thank you for you sticking with me and reading this work! I love you all!  
> -H


	15. Epilogue

 

_» fifteen years later : 16 ABY «_

The sound of a loud motorbike engine reaching their house startled both Cassian and Bodhi wake. They yawned loudly, stretching their limbs and finding a weird sense of satisfaction when they heard the quiet pops.

"I wonder who that is," Bodhi murmured into Cassian's shoulder and forced himself from their bed.

The morning rays of the Yavini sun broke through the flimsy blinds and soaked the blue walled room in a warm, yellow light. The temperature was on the cusp of being too hot but for Bodhi's Jedhan nature, it was like home.

Cassian opened his eyes and gazed lovingly at his husband. He pulled his hair back from his damp forehead and back into a messy ponytail. He really needed it cutting but he had been too busy working on his newest starship to ask Bodhi for a trim.

The light caught Bodhi's hair perfectly and made his dark hair glow. Over the last few years, many greys had mingled in with his locks and facial hair. Cassian had said that he looked like a wise old Jedi master.

His hair was still in the braid that Cassian had done for him the previous night, and although it was messy, Cassian couldn't help but marvel at Bodhi's beauty.

"D'you think that Kes will ever arrive at a reasonable hour?" Cassian replied and got out of bed to dress himself in cargo shorts and a white tank top. He watched as Bodhi zipped up his jeans and threw on a blue shirt.

"I'll wake up Amar'lun, I'm sure that she'll want to see Poe," Bodhi smiled at his husband and left the room.

Two minutes later the house was filled with childish laugher of their daughter and of a thirty-six year old ex-pilot.

Cassian chuckled to himself and went down to greet his friend.

_Five years after the battle of Endor, he and Bodhi met a girl who lived within the wilderness of Fest._

_The pair had been travelling around the galaxy, visiting the places that had once been ruled by the Empire to make sure that the New Republic's authority was under no threat from any imperials left in the areas._

_A few kilometres from Cassian's old village they came across a modest hut built of hardwood and sheets of metal and outside the hut, playing amongst the rubble, of what they guessed was a destroyed imperial watchtower, was a young Chiss child with wild scarlet eyes, inky black hair and a criss cross of scars on her bright blue face._

_She had aimed her small bow at them and tensed the string,_  
-who are you?  
She spoke with a thick Festian accent, much like Cassian.

_The pair had raised their hands to show that they meant no harm to her and introduced themselves,  
-my name is Cassian Andor, this is my husband Bodhi Rook. We mean no harm._

_The young girl put down her weapon and eyed the two suspiciously.  
-Did my mama and papa send you? They told me they'd come back for me but they still haven't come back._

_The men were struck by the timidity the child suddenly showed._

_-I'm sorry, we don't know your parents,_  
Bodhi had spoken slowly as to not startle the girl,  
-how long have they been gone?

_-A whole rotation around the sun. Some soldiers came into our village one day when it was raining and my parents ran into the forest. I was supposed to follow but I fell over and I lost them. I heard bangs but I know that my mama and papa got away. They always get away!  
She smiled sadly and ran her hand through her hair._

_-So you've been living alone? Here?Cassian slipped his hand into Bodhi's._

_-Yes sirs, I found this place and my mama had shown me to hunt. I'm a strong Chiss!  
She said proudly._

_Bodhi and Cassian threw each other a silent look, one communicating their shared thoughts._

_She reminded them both of their youthful selves._

  
"Hi there, Andor. You're looking like a real househusband," Kes joked as he hooked his and Poe's helmets onto the handle bars of his Silver motorcycle.

"And you look like a sad old man, Dameron," he playfully shoved his friends shoulder before embracing Kes. The short haired man laughed and slapped his back.

When they pulled away, Cassian turned his attention to the young man who stood watching the pair. Poe Asier Dameron reminded the old rebel so much of his friends. He possessed the dark, thick curly hair of his mother as well as her full nose and lips yet he had the same shaped eyes (and the same sense of humour) as his father.

"Hello Poe, how are you?"

The boy smiled and walked over to the older men, "I'm good thanks, Cassian. Is Amar'lun in?"

"Yeah, Bodhi is just getting her up. Honestly you need to tell your father to stop coming over so early! Bodhi and I like our beauty sleep," Cassian playfully scowled and winked.

Poe laughed and his eyes crinkled at the edges; he looks so much like his mother, Cassian thought.

It had been a complete shock when Shara had passed away. Poe had been eight when she was caught in the cross fire between two rival gangs in Coruscant. It had only been a few years since Poe moved back in Kes on Yavin after spending some time with Shara's old friend L'ulo L'ampar on Corellia.

Both Kes and the rest of the old team had been utterly devastated.

"Poe!" Amar'lun shouted from the door of the white shuttered, faded red house.

"Hey 'Lun!" He shouted back and ran to hug his friend. The younger girl smiled brightly back pulled away to excitedly announce some news.

"I've finally finished working on my dads' Rogue Two! Baba helped me, its in the barn, d'you wanna see?"

"Didn't I see it last time 'Lun? I'm sure that you're just trying to make me jealous that you have an imperial ship," Poe joked.

"Well Dameron, you have a pretty sweet A-Wing Interceptor that I'd happily take off your hands," the Chiss retorted and ran her hand over her shaved head.

"Oh get lost, you nerfherder!" Poe shoved her and received a light hearted slap to his arm.

"I hope that you're not calling my daughter a 'nerfherder', Poe," Bodhi said sternly although it was obvious to all but Poe that he was joking.

"N-no, I mean yes- sort of, sir. I-I-"

"I'm just messing with you, kid," he smiled and ruffled his hair. The boy grinned back and laughed a little embarrassedly.

"Baba, stop being mean to poor Poe! I need him not to be a stuttering mess then Auntie Jyn comes over with Galen," Amar'lun said and wiggled her eyebrows.

Poe blushed and shook his head, trying to ignore the laughter of his father and uncles. "'Lun, I've told you to stop trying to set me up with Galen! I'm perfectly fine with setting up my own relationships."

"You and him are a great match! Just let me work my magic, Dameron. Maybe if I can't get you with Galen, I could get you with Baze's new son Quon-Chirrut?"

Poe rolled his eyes and put his arm over the girl's shoulder and led her towards the barn, all the while trying to get her to shut up.

"They remind me so much of us when we were younger," Kes laughed.

Cassian slipped his hand into Bodhi's and kissed his husband on the cheek.

The younger man ran his thumb over Cassian's scarred knuckles and pulled him closer into his side.

"Yeah they really do," Bodhi agreed.

"Hopefully they won't be completely like us. I'd like it if they didn't have to fight against any imperial shitheads though," Cassian added.

"Me too. Although Poe has it in his mind that he wants to follow his mother's steps and join the Republic's fleet. And like his mother's, he can be a real stubborn ass."

"Amar'lun also wants to join the Republic's forces although I believe that she's aiming for the senate. I hear that Leia is recruiting apprentices," Bodhi spoke as he walked with the other men into his house.

"Imagine a galaxy with Leia and 'Lun at the head," Kes snickered.

"What a scary thought," Cassian retorted with a snort. Bodhi rolled his eyes at the men.

"Maybe when she works with Leia she'll be able to collect Kaytoo's back up software from her holopad. Since his short-circuiting I've actually missed the grumpy prick," Cassian commented.

Bodhi hummed in agreement as he sipped on a glass of water. He placed the glass down on the table and slid two bottles of homemade cider to Kes and Cassian.

"Well I know for sure that they'll make us proud," Bodhi stated. Cassian and Kes nodded.

"They will, of course they will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo that's the end!!!  
> I hope that you've enjoyed this story and I'm currently planning a sort of sequel revolving around Poe/Finn. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> -H.


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